Who Is She?
by LisaVang
Summary: A Rick and Lisa AU story. What if Rick had fallen for Lisa first?
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE:**

"Who is she?"

"Who?" Roy Fokker, legendary ace fighter pilot and leader of the famous Skull Squadron asked, and looked around but saw no one of interest in their immediate vicinity.

"Her!" Rick said, and pointed her out with his eyes to Roy.

Roy followed Rick's gaze and when he saw who Rick was gazing at he smiled. The smiled was full of mischief, and his trademark killer blue eyes sparkled with glee instead of cold steel.

"That's Commander Lisa Hayes, Rick."

"Commander Lisa Hayes? The ice queen! You're joking!"

"No joke, scouts honor, and stop looking at her like that, Rick," Roy growled, and put on his most stern look of disapproval. He prayed Rick wouldn't turn to look at him because if he did, Roy knew he would burst out laughing.

"Like what?" Rick protested hotly but his eye never strayed from her—Lisa. He wondered if 'Lisa' was her real name or a shorten version of Elizabeth, Elisabeth, Isabel or something else.

He saw that she was now joined by three girls, also in uniform but he had eyes only for her. He'd never seen anyone like her before, all pale, calm and so aristocratic in her feature and mannerism. Yet there was an air of fragility about her that intrigued him and he wondered what color were her eyes.

"How come I've never see her before, Roy?"

"Because she was in the infirmary for a month after we space folded. When the enemy attacked us on Earth, she was on her way back from the UEG headquarter. Her plane got caught in the crossfire and crashed. She was badly hurt," Roy muttered and picked up his empty cup of coffee and raised it to the waitress who was making the rounds.

"For a while there we didn't know what had happened to her until we found her among the citizens of Macross in one of the shelters. You haven't seen Commander Hayes before because when she was well enough to return to work you were at boot camp. If you'll remember knucklehead, today is your first day out in six weeks."

"Is she seeing anyone?"

"She is definitely single, and definitely NOT looking. Hate to break your heart, kid, but she is one lady you do not want to mess with and besides, she's your CO."

"What!"

"Yes, she's your commanding officer," Roy said and he couldn't stop grinning as he watched his little brother fall for Commander Lisa Hayes, otherwise known as the "ice queen" among all the male pilots. Not because she was cold-hearted but because she could freeze you with just one look if you messed up.

"Lisa is way out of your league, Rick. She's not the "ice queen" for no reasons."

"I don't care what she is. She's incredible… look at her!"

"Rick, listen to me, Lisa's… she's different," Roy said with caution now, "she doesn't play. For all her air of fragility, she's all steel and determination. She didn't get to her rank and position just on looks and family connection…"

"Introduce me, Roy," Rick said, cutting Roy off as Lisa and her friends came closer to the café.

"No."

"Please, Roy, anything. I'll give you anything, you want. I'll even volunteer for extra duty."

Roy knew he should stop it here and now but looking at Rick staring at Lisa so intently with awe, he couldn't refuse. "Okay, I want your WWII airplane collection when we get back to Earth and you take two extra shits next week when you report to work."

"Done," Rick replied without hesitation.

Roy laughed and stood up.

"Commander Hayes!"

"Lisa," Vanessa said, "I think Commander Fokker is calling you."

Lisa turned and looked across the street. Sure enough, Commander Roy Fokker was waving to them and smiling.

"I think he wants us to join him," Sammie said with a perky smile and crossed the street without even looking.

"Sammie wait—"Lisa said but she quickly realized that it was already too late. For Sammie was already on the other side of the street and waving back at Commander Fokker like a love-struck fool.

"Sometimes I wonder where her brain is," Kim said and giggled with Vanessa because they both knew exactly where her brain was—in the clouds!

"Come on girls, let's join the party," Lisa sighed, and followed Sammie over to the little curbside café and Fokker's table.

"Ladies, I don't believe you've met the newest member of Skull - Corporal Rick Hunter," Roy said in his smooth-talking voice and turned to smile at Sammie, Kim and Vanessa as they each pulled up a chair.

"Good afternoon, ma'am," Rick said and automatically stood up to saluted Lisa.

"There's no need to salute me, Corporal Hunter. We're not on base and we're off duty," Lisa said and gave him a tentative smile that made him focus on her mouth.

"Rick, just shake her hand and sit down," Roy said and gave Lisa an apology grin but his blue eyes danced with laughter.

The mischief sparkled in Fokker's eyes automatically had Lisa's senses on red alert for she just knew she was the butt of some raunchy jokes between the two pilots. But for the life of her, she could not figure out why.

Rick wished the enemy would attack right at that moment and put him out of his embarrassment. He couldn't believe it that he'd made a total basket case of himself, and in front of Lisa too!

_Great going Hunter! Now she's going to think you're not only a kid but an idiot too._

Nervously he grabbed Lisa's outstretch hand for a quick handshake and… just like that, his world shifted.

Her eyes, they were hazel—browns and grays and greens all intermingled, shot with gold light that matched her hair. He saw now that her hair was dark blond, not the brown it had appeared before. She vibrated with warmth and strength.

Lisa stood rigid with shock, disbelief and confusion. She felt paralyzed as she stared at him, held immobile by a frightening excitement that knotted her stomach and set her heart to pounding.

_This can't be happening!_ She prayed but it was and his eyes, they were blue—dazzling and vivid blue…. like Texas bluebonnets.

She felt herself being sucked into those eyes, seduced by that smile and the fact that he was staggeringly handsome didn't help. Not Fokker's slick good looks, but a devastating combination of boyish charm and would-be maturity. His black hair was just a little too long, falling over his forehead and she suddenly felt a need to brush it aside with her hand.

"Rick! You can let Commander Hayes' hand go now," a voice boomed into his ear and as if in slow motion, he turned to look at who had yelled at him.

Looking down, he saw four pair of eyes staring up at him and Lisa. The emotions he read in the four pair of eyes varied from amusement to shock and surprise. He went white, then red, then white again. He wanted to run from them and hide but stopped himself when he realized that he was still holding Lisa's hand.

Ignoring Roy and the rest of the girls, he slowly let go of her hand and pulled up a chair from the next table for her as if nothing had happened.

_Just breathe, Hunter,_ he told himself, and managed a weak smile for Lisa's friends or the "bunnies" as he recognized them now, and sat down.

Sitting down, Lisa felt her knees shaking. She told herself to calm down and tried to steady her hands by clenching them tightly together under the table.

_It's nothing!_ She said to herself again and had to look away from the curious stares of Sammie, Vanessa and Kim, and found herself staring at Rick.

His eyes met hers again, and that's when she realized that she was physically attracted to him- Corporal Rick Hunter, a pilot! And an immature one at that, and too cocky for his own good. Every ounce of modesty she possessed was outraged.

_My God, Lisa!_ she admonished herself. _He's barely out of diapers!_

Claudia paused by the bridge door, her attention caught by the young woman sitting so still at her station with her hands folded in her lap. She sat staring at nothing, motionless. She knew without asking that something was wrong.

In all the years that she had known Lisa, she'd never seen her so pale, cool and controlled, with a face as blank as marble. Then she corrected herself for she had seen Lisa like this once before—after Riber's death.

"Lisa?"

"Hi, Claudia, good morning," Lisa said and smiled warmly.

"Something wrong, Lisa?"

"No."

"Lisa, tell me—"

"Really, it's nothing, Claudia."

"Lisa…"

"Oh, all right, you're never going let me be if I don't tell you," Lisa sighed in aspiration.

"Do you know a pilot name Rick Hunter?"

Claudia smiled in relief, and took a deep breath to calm her pounding heart for she'd thought that Lisa's problem was something life and death but now…

"Yes. He's Roy's friend. I believe he just came out of boot camp and is assigned to Skull squadron. Roy calls him his little brother. I don't think they're related by blood but by all that matters, they are brothers."

As if a light had just turned on in her head, Claudia suddenly paused and her eyes widened in surprised.

"It's not what you're thinking, Claudia," Lisa protested when she saw the change in Claudia.

"What it is, then?"

"It's just that... I don't know, Claudia. I met him for the first time two weeks ago and ... and now I can't stop thinking about him!" Lisa finally finished, her cheeks burning.

Finally her eyes darted to Claudia's in panic and confusion.

"Welcome back to the living, girlfriend!" Claudia said and could not stop herself from being excited. "We have to go shopping now, after work, for your closet has been seriously neglected since you went into isolation, and we need to give you a make over, it's been years since you've had a hair cut."

"I'm serious, Claudia!" Lisa cried in dismay. "He's… he's so young and a loud mouth to boot … and he scares me, Claudia. He scares me to death because I'm so unbalanced and distracted in his presence," she finished in a shaky whispered.

"Oh, Lisa," Claudia sighed, and smiled at her friend with warm sympathy.

"Stop think about her," Roy said as he sat down across from Rick.

"I'm not thinking about anyone, Roy," Rick replied.

Roy made a faint scoffing sound and grinned to himself.

"She's manipulative."

"So are you, Roy," Rick murmured.

"She's domineering."

"I like strong women," Rick said.

"She's arrogant."

"Isn't everyone?" Rick asked.

"She's a very pretty woman, Rick," Roy interjected.

"I'm interested in the woman behind the pretty façade," Rick answered, still daydreaming.

Torn between exasperation and laughter, Roy considered the best way to deal with Rick and his problem– Commander Lisa Hayes.

"Goddammit, Rick, just ask the woman out! And get that silly smile off your face. It's unbecoming of a Skull."

Leaning back, Rick frowned as he contemplated Roy's outburst. It had never occurred to him before because he hadn't thought he could. She was after all, his CO and there are rules… but now, the possibility that he could…

"Rick! Hello!"

"I'm thinking, Roy," Rick mused aloud.

"What are you going to have?" Roy asked impatiently.

Looking up, Rick saw that the waitress was waiting for his order with an annoyance look on her face.

"Ummm… I'll have… no, just give me whatever he's having," Rick said and handed the menu to the waitress. She took it without saying a word but he saw her rolling her eyes.

"What's there to think about, little brother? You either ask her out or you don't. It's as simple as that," Roy snorted once the waitress left with their orders.

"It's not as easy as that," Rick snapped, and his gaze dared Roy to offer an opinion to the contrary.

"Afraid she'll turn you down, little brother?" Roy asked amusingly and laughed.

"Damn it, Roy, you're not helping at all," Rick said beneath his breath, experiencing, for the first time in his life, the gnawing fear of losing something he wants badly.

"Commander Fokker?"

They both turned and saw Minmei walking up to stand next to their booth. She was dressed in a red silk qi pao that showed off her bountiful assets beautifully. Her long blue black hair was traditionally styled on top of her head to match the qi pao. She was stunningly gorgeous and hot but young - too young.

"Miss Minmei," Roy said as he stood up to greet her and gave Rick a quick kick under the table to do the same thing.

"Oh, please, Commander, don't get up. I just wanted to come over to thank you again for saving my life. If it hadn't been for you, I would not be here today to enter the Miss Macross pageant which is tomorrow night. You are coming, right? And you should bring all the guys from your squadron too. I'm going to need all the help I can get…"

Then she noticed Rick.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I forgot your name? I've met you before, haven't I?"

Clearing his throat, Rick answered. "Yes. We met the day Roy saved your life."

"Of course," Minmei said with a smile and batted her lovely blue eyes at him. "I'm inviting you too and I want you to bring all your friends, flyboy."

Without waiting for a reply from Rick, she turned her attention back to Roy.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, Commander Fokker, my uncle says you can eat for free anytime you want. He's also very grateful to you for saving me. I have to go now because I have to do another practice walk before the big day," she finished and turned to leave.

But stopped, and turned back to Roy, giving him a flirtatious smile. "I will look for you there, Commander Fokker. And you too," she said as an after thought to Rick and rushed off.

"That girl can't be sixteen!" Roy said shaking his head as Minmei disappeared from their sight.

The corner of Rick's mouth twisted mockingly. "She is definitely your type, big brother. Regretting your commitment to being a one woman's man? Shall I inform Claudia?"

Rick saw that Roy actually shifted in his seat and he smiled amusingly.

"You do, and you'll be pulling extra shifts for the next six months," Roy said with a frozen glare.

Rick only laughed. "Sure-sure Roy."

"Come out, Lisa," Claudia said impatiently.

Lisa pushed open the door and stepped out of the dressing room. Immediately she saw the sparkle of a mischievous glint in Claudia's eye, and as if by reflect, she braced herself for anything and everything that might befall her for agreeing to Claudia's suggestion that they update her civilian wardrobe.

"Now, turn around."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

She did as Claudia commanded and when she looked at her friend again, the gleam was even brighter.

"Claudia, whatever it is that you are planning—"

"Lisa, you're a beautiful, sexy woman, you truly are, you know, and it's time to celebrate it."

"No, please, Claudia. I agree to a few purchases, not a makeover. I'm fine and happy the way I am."

"Trust me, Lisa. I know what I am doing."

Looking at herself in the mirror, Lisa sighed in defeat. "That's what I'm afraid of, Claudia."


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO:**

"Lisa…?"

The look on his face, a cross between determination and vulnerability, made her chest hurt.

"Corporal Hunter, please don't ask me again. I'm sorry but the answer is still 'no' and it's Commander Hayes, not Lisa."

Inwardly, he was crushed beyond description but outwardly, he maintained his composure and acted as if he hadn't heard what she'd just said. He knew it wouldn't be easy asking Lisa for a date but he hadn't count on her turning him down three times in a row in less than a week.

"We're off duty, Lisa. Remember, at our very first meeting you said I didn't…"

"Yes, I know what I said, Corporal— um... Rick. But please you have to stop asking me to go out with you. You seemed like a very nice young man and I'm sure you are, but I'm busy, and I'm not in a very outgoing mood."

Without waiting for a reply, Lisa turned around and marched toward the elevator, praying that Rick would not follow her and walked in. She jammed her finger into the button to close the door.

As much as she liked him, Lisa knew could not and would not encourage him. There is no room in her life for silly romances and flirtations. Nevertheless, she found herself smiling.

_I have to give him credit for being persistent. _

"How about tomorrow? I'm off and I know you are too."

Lisa froze and looked up to see him smiling back at her from outside the elevator door.

"Absolutely n--" And the elevator door closed between them before she could finished.

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Disappointed and disheartened, Rick took off his uniform jacket and fell upon his bunk.

He knew he should eat something before letting exhaustion claim him but he had no appetite. How could he, when his heart felt as if it had sunk into his stomach?

"Christ, I'm a fool!"

Turning over, Rick buried his head into the pillow and let his mind drift.

Lisa definitely has gotten under his skin and she hadn't even tried. She wasn't a flirt; she was as strait lace as a nun. She would probably slap his face if he tried to kiss her. That thought made him grin and he decided there and then that he was going to try it very soon.

_Why?_ He asked himself again. _Why her?_

He felt somewhat breathless just thinking about her and he gave up.

He had always had an eye for attractive women, so of course he would notice her. But there was something else about her, something he could not put his finger on. He just knew that every time he looked at her there was something in her eyes, something of loneliness that touched his.

_God, I must be a masochist… yea, that's the only sane reason why I keep going back for more…_

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Lisa spent a miserable evening pacing back and forth in her quarters, unable to unwind and relax. Unable to enjoy the dinner she made for herself or watched any of her favorite movies.

A hundred times, she called herself a fool for letting Rick riffled her and damning him to perdition. The rest of the time she spent working to compose herself, determined to put him out of her mind and to never let him guess how badly she wanted to go out with him.

_Go to sleep, Lisa! _But every time she looked at the clock on her night stand a minute or two has passed only.

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"Lisa…?"

Flat gray clouds hung over Macross's fake sky, imitating an early, chilly morning. Standing at a rail on a simulated edge overlooking the city, Lisa felt the light air from the air ducks hung high overhead tugging at her hair which she had put up this morning in a ponytail.

She had come to this place to clear her mind. This was her special place for it was tucked away from the path of the main park thus unfrequented by park users.

Unconsciously Lisa's hand came up to her throat as she turned to see who had called her. Upon recognizing him she bit her lip unconsciously and waited. He was in a jogging suit just like her.

Rick stopped directly in front of her and though his expression was carefully guarded, there was no mistaking the surprise in his eyes. She wondered at his thoughts.

Her own were in turmoil. Anger at Rick for tempting her. Anger at herself for wanting to be tempted.

Regret.

Uncertainty.

Heartache.

This latter she refused to dwell on.

"Rick! What a surprised to see you."

"Yes," he said and he was well aware that his heart was racing. "I didn't think you were a morning person, Lisa."

"Usually I'm not but—"

"Couldn't sleep either?" he said without letting her finish.

"No that's not what I was going to say—"

"Come on, let's jog."

She started to protest, but Rick had already captured her hand and was pulling her with him.

When she started to keep pace with him, he let go of her hand and they began to enjoy a comfortable pace together, neither saying much of anything to each other. They must have put in a good two miles before Rick slow down and pointed to a water fountain.

"Ladies first," Rick said and executed a slight mocking bow when they reached the water fountain.

A delicate rose bloomed in her checks but Lisa said nothing and proceeded to drink. Afterward they walked back the path they had jogged.

"This is weird, Corp—Rick," Lisa said after a long silence. "I don't usually go jogging with people I see in the park, especially not men anyway; men that I don't know."

"You know me."

"No, I don't. I don't know you other than your rank, unit and what's written in your service record. Just because I see and hear you over the commo screen every day does not mean that I know you. Who knows, you could be an axe murderer or psycho killer."

Rick laughed.

"It's not funny, Rick. I'm serious." Her tone rose with some anger.

"That can be easily fixed, Lisa," Rick said and he smiled at her, far too seductively in her opinion and Lisa immediately stiffened and stopped walking.

Noticing, Rick also stopped too.

"Lisa, I'm not going to attack you." Rick said and fought to keep his voice down for he was angry now. "You can get to know me now… lets see, my name is Rick Hunter, Rick short for Richard. No one calls me Richard, not even my dad, not even when he's mad at me. I'm originally from--"

"No, that's not what I mean and before you interrupt me, let me finish explaining myself." Lisa saw Rick's eyebrows lifted but he said nothing.

"My refusal to go out with you," she began, "has nothing to do with me playing hard to get. I don't play games, Rick. And it has nothing to do with you, please understand. I am flattered by your attention but that's it."

"Is it my age?" Rick said before he even thought about it.

Lisa stiffened.

"I'm sorry!" Rick cried, meaning it. "That was a thoughtless thing for me to say and I'm interrupting you. Forgive me, Lisa, please continue."

She bit her lip so hard that it hurt. "No, it has nothing to do with your age or rank or eye color or hair!" she said coolly.

"It has to do with me. I told you, I don't play games. I don't have time for them. I make decisions everyday that affects thousands of lives in a blink of an eye. I have to be focused and clear headed all the time. I don't have the time or room in my life for infatuations and flirtations, Rick. Please leave me alone," Lisa finally said her voice low now, almost a pleading whisper.

"Okay, but I'm not …," she heard him said but had walked away from him already. She didn't want to see the disappointment in his beautiful blue eyes or hear the longing in his voice.

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Rick got drunk that night. The day after, he slept till noon and woke up with a raging headache. For several long moments, he confused the banging in his head with the heavy raps on his door.

Then the door swung open and Roy strode in.

"Get dress. We need to talk."

Roy had never seen his friend so miserable looking before. That Rick was unhappy was more than clear. Roy had a feeling he knew why.

Roy was sitting at his desk when he emerged from the shower, shaved and dressed in his uniform. There was a hard set to Roy's jaw that hadn't been there when he was younger but now seemed never to leave him.

"Here," Roy said and handed him a cup of coffee.

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me," Roy said, "as your squadron leader I'm assigning you two extra shifts this week for not showing up for your shift this morning. But as your friend, I'm going to tell you that if you ever do this again, I swear, I will forget that you are my little brother and court-martial you. Am I making myself clear?"

"I'm sorry, Roy."

Taking a deep breath, Roy looked at Rick. "I believe you are, Rick. Come, let's get going. We're needed to guard the convoys as they load up on supplies from the Sara Base on Mars."


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE:**

Anxiety made Lisa's heart pound and her hand trembled as she turned to face Captain Gloval.

"Sir, I would like to request your permission to check out those SOS signals coming from the base personally."

"I don't think that's necessary, Lisa—"

"Please, Captain," Lisa pleaded and stood rooted to her station, fear a living thing inside her. She could hear the thunder of her heart; feel the tightness in her chest that made it hard to breathe.

_Dear God, please don't let him deny my request,_ she prayed as she stared back at the captain without flinching and hoping he would not be able to read the desperation in them.

After a long silence, the captain finally nodded. "Permission granted, but on one condition..."

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"Commander Fokker, the Captain has requested for you to assign someone to accompany Commander Hayes to the base," Claudia said as she appeared on Roy's commo screen. "She should be just passing you on a transporter cart."

"I don't understand, Claudia, Lisa has no reason to go to the base and besides we don't have time—"

" Roy—"

"Roger that," Roy said before Claudia could finish for he'd just remembered the only reason why Lisa would want to go to the base.

Switching to Rick's personal line, he gave Rick the order.

"What? Why do I always get the babysitting job? And I don't care, even if it's her! Especially her! No, Roy, I'm not going," Rick said and refused to listen to reason. "Send someone else. I already made a fool out of myself just trying to talk to her. I don't need this."

"I'm doing you a favor, Rick by giving you the job. Think of it this way, if anything comes up, you get to be the hero. Just imagine, the hero scooping in to rescue his lady in distress from the jaws of death and she in return kisses him and they lived happily ever after..."

" Roy!" Rick interrupted Roy's little movie script before he could finish. "I'm not going."

"Corporal Hunter, are you disobeying a direct order..!"

"Oh, alright! Sometimes, I tell you, Roy, women shouldn't be in the military, even if they are officers, they can be so illogical," Rick finished as he switched mode and did as he was told.

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"I don't understand why it had to be you, Corporal Hunter," Lisa said as they began making their way to the communication room.

"It's not as if I volunteer, Commander," Rick said and flicked a glance her way wondering why she was so uptight and bitchy towards him.

Lisa's lips thinned at the effort to hold back a nasty retort. Instead she pointed to the base's communication room up ahead and got a slight nod from him.

"There's nobody here, Rick," Lisa said as she stared at the readings from the SOS machine. "But how could we be receiving all those distress signals from here if nobody was here to send them? This doesn't make sense."

"Everyone knows this base was abandoned years ago before the ending of the Civil Global War. Who were you expecting to be here, Lisa?" Rick asked.

"No one, I was just hoping there would be survivors. There were so many MIAs after the base was attacked that I thought… I don't know. I just thought … this just doesn't make sense… I mean who would go to such length to…" and she suddenly stopped, her eyebrows shot up.

Alert, Rick shot up from the desk he was sitting at. "What?"

"It's a trap!" Lisa shouted and ran to the base's main computer control panel; her fingers flew over the keyboards and buttons as maps, blueprints and diagrams of the base came on view.

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"Are you sure, Lisa? Our recons reported no enemy activities anywhere within 100 mile radius and we haven't seen them in a week," Captain Gloval asked skeptically but inwardly, he sighed for he should've considered the possibilities.

"It feels like one, Captain and I wouldn't put it pass the enemy. It's exactly what I would do," Lisa replied in earnest.

Captain Gloval paused for a minute then turned to Claudia.

"Recall all transporters, Claudia, order the start of main engine and put the fleet on red alert. Lift off in 15 minutes."

Turning back to Lisa on the communication screen, Gloval continued.

"Good work, Lisa, I want you and Corporal Hunter back here ASAP, we're lifting off with or with out you two so make sure you're on board."

"Aye, aye, Captain," Lisa said and turned off her personal communicator. Turning to Rick, she breathed a sigh of relief.

"You hear the Captain, Corporal, let's get moving."

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"We're under attack!" Lisa screamed as the base rocked once again as if it was being bombarded by a meteor shower. "It's the only explanation. Hurry up, Rick, we need to get out of here!"

"Lisa!" Rick yelled and tried to get to her but a blast had him flying back against a corridor. When he came around, he had to inhale hard in order to breath for there was smoke and debris everywhere and part of the corridor Lisa and he had just passed through has collapsed.

Looking about he saw Lisa struggling to get up from where she had fallen.

"We got to get out of here, Lisa. Lisa? Can you hear me?" he said as he crawled over to her.

"Something hit me. It hurts… "

"Let me see."

Turning her over, he saw that her right sided flight suit had been torn. Putting his hand over the tear, he felt blood on his hand and he quickly pressed down on it hard.

"Lets get you out of the corridor and … here," looking up he saw that they were in front of somebody's quarter. "Let's get you inside where I can find something to stop the bleeding."

Once inside, he quickly had her sitting on a chair and began looking around for the first aid kit. On first glance, it was just an ordinary quarter, a single bunk, desk and chair but he knew it was an officer's quarter because it had a view port.

Taking a quick glance out he could see Veritechs and pods fighting, gun fires blasting everywhere and he hoped the SDF-1 has already lifted off.

"We have to get back to my Veritech if we want to get off this base alive. I'm sure the SDF-1 has already lifted off. We can't be left behind; I don't know if the enemy will stick around or follow the SDF-1 back into space. Found it!"

Going back to Lisa, he began taking off her flight suit, the top portion anyway, so he could see and clean the wound. She didn't offer any assistance or resistance at all which was odd and he looked up at her.

"Lisa?"

She didn't turn to look at him and he followed her gaze. She was staring at a photograph on the desk. On closer inspection, he noticed that the girl in the picture kind of looked like her. He turned back to look at Lisa again and this time he saw tears running freely down her face.

"What is it?"

"Riber…" she whispered. "Riber… I'm here."

"Lisa! Lisa! Look at me!" Rick said as he shook her, trying to get her attention. "You're not making sense. Turn, I got to get your bleeding to stop and we got to get out of here. I can hear the fighting moving away from the base. That means the enemy is chasing the SDF-1 now. We can't be left behind."

Letting her go and ignoring her incoherent mumbling, he began cleaning her wound and then slowly stitching it up. He wished now that he'd paid more attention during boot camp when the field doctors were going over this particular procedure instead of staring at the nurses.

"That's the best I can do until we get back to the SDF-1," he said as he finished stitching up the torn in her flight suit also and helped her back into it.

Lisa felt like laughing and crying at the same time. She felt like jumping up and down for joy and screaming at the top of her lungs at the unfairness of it all too. Yet she did none of those things, she just sat there, the pain in her side no longer bothering her and just stared at them—the photograph of them—Riber and her-- young, innocent and so in love.

_Riber… _

She couldn't believe it that she was finally here, in her love's quarter-- where he had lived, slept, wrote and breathed in. She had known there was no chance of her finding him or ever seeing him again. Nevertheless, she'd never given up hope. He was MIA after all, meaning he could possibly be alive, somewhere—somehow.

_Riber… I'm here. I'm finally here, my love…_ was all that was running though her head over and over again and nothing else mattered.

Nothing.

But the need to be with him--Riber, forever.

"What's wrong, Lisa? Are you in shock?"

Lisa made a dismissive sound and he hesitated but he sized her arm anyway and turned her toward him. "I can see that something is wrong. Tell me!"

"Nothing… nothing's wrong. Why are you yelling at me?" Her tone was harsh and abrupt, final. "You have to get out of here. It's not safe here. Go! Leave Rick!"

He was so stunned that he gaped.

"What are you saying? I have to get out of here? No! We have to get out of here!"

Lisa's jaw looked ready to crack apart. "You don't understand… I have to stay. Riber's here," she said flatly and turned away. Her eyes now focused and she began surveying the room, going from one object to the next in slow motion with a smile on her face.

Opening the desk draw in front of her, she pulled out a notebook and began paging through it like she had all the time in the world.

"Lisa," Rick warned, "I'm just about have it with your weird behavior and frankly, I'm worried. I know you outrank me and you're in charge here but I'm taking charge now and I say we get the hell out of here."

Lisa hesitated, her very green eyes unwavering as she turned them on Rick. "Yes, I couldn't agree more. Please, leave!"

"Okay, that does it…" Without warning, Rick's right arm swung out and caught Lisa squarely in the jaw. She went down like a rag doll and he quickly caught her before she fell out of the chair.

"I'm sorry, Lisa, but you can throw me in the brig later after we get out of here," Rick said as he threw her on his shoulder and tested his movements to accommodate her weight. "There's no way I'm leaving you behind."

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"Why not? You're generalizing about me, aren't you?" Lisa added fiercely, "Well, I'm not like anyone but myself, and I do value who I am."

"Shh," Rick said and came to sit next to her. "Hey, you're shaking so badly you'll break your stitches again and I'll be banned from visiting you."

He was right. Her whole body was shaking.

_Stop it!_ She told her self. _Not in front of Rick._

"I'm not shaking."

"Sure. Whatever you say, Commander."

"I don't need your understanding, Corporal." Her face was cold with reproof. "I don't want them--"

"It's alright," he said softly and kissed her before she had a chance to finish her sentence.

It was silly to believe that a kiss as gentle, as easy as this one could send shock waves through the body. Blood didn't really heat and the mind didn't really swim. She knew better, but felt it anyway.

"Everything's going to be all right, Lisa," he said as he reached out and brushed her cheek.

Lisa wasn't sure what he meant, but in a strange way, she had come to trust him. She simply nodded; hoping things would work out as he said.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR:**

"Attention on deck!"

Lisa automatically sat up strait on her bed and was about to salute when she heard Claudia laughing from the door.

"Oh! It's not funny, Claudia!"

"What am I going to do with you, Lisa?" Claudia said as she walked into the room and took a seat next to Lisa's bed. "Every time you disappear from my sight, you end up in the infirmary."

"Oh, by the way," Claudia stood up again and gave Lisa a mocking salute.

"What's that for?"

"Why, your now a full-fledge Commander, didn't you hear?" Claudia said with a twinkle in her eyes. "While little old me, is still a Lt. Commander. I just don't get it… it was me who did all the work of getting us off Mars while you were out cold and here, you got the promotion. I tell you, something is fishy around here. Why, even your flyboy is a Lieutenant now."

"What!" Lisa exclaimed in surprised. "What for?"

"Saving your pretty little neck, off course," Claudia explained. "I guess that hit on the head you received really did mess you up good or you would have remembered: when a subordinate saves his CO's life, it's an automatic up the ladder."

"I messed up, Claudia," Lisa said somberly and looked away from Claudia's smiley face. "I messed up big time. I let my personal feelings clouded my judgment and almost got myself, including Rick killed. I don't deserve the promotion."

"Lisa! Stop that nonsense. I was just kidding, you know that. You deserved the promotion more than anyone else. Stop being so hard on yourself," Claudia reprimanded.

"I ordered Rick to leave me behind," Lisa said without hearing Claudia. "The only reason why I'm here is because he disobeyed my order and took me out of there against my will."

"And I'm grateful that he disobeyed your order," Claudia cut in. "I'm going to make him my famous pineapple salad."

"Oh Claudia, you don't understand… down there, at the base, everywhere I looked, I saw Riber. I heard him, felt him. He was all around me and I just wanted to stay with him. I didn't care whether it was real or not. I just missed him so much… I'm so tired of being alone. I just wanted it all to end."

And Lisa Hayes cried and couldn't stop crying even with Claudia's strong arms holding her and soothing her with words of support and love.

"He's... Rick's not my flyboy, Claudia," Lisa said brokenly after a while. "I don't want anyone to be mine especially not a pilot, a reckless, and an amateur one at that! It hurts too much when you lose them and I always end up loosing them whether they're mine or not," she finished, shaking her head to clear the tears and sadness from her eyes.

"He could be, Lisa," Claudia whispered. "You're hurting too much now to think clearly but I think he could be the one."

"He's not. He can't be…" Lisa protest brokenly.

And then they heard a song coming from the ship's public intercom. Lisa felt Claudia tensed and she immediately became alert.

"What is it?"

"Her!"

"Who?"

"That annoying brat!" Claudia exclaimed and threw her hands in the air. "She's been sending Roy love notes and demos of her music all week. Roy laughs it off and calls it silly school girl infatuation."

Still seeing the puzzle expression on Lisa's face Claudia further explained.

"She's the 1st runner up in the Miss Macross pageant. You know, the one that almost beat out Jan Morris? Well, since the pageant, she's decided to become a singer and from the sound of things, everyone in Macross is buying it."

Lisa searched Claudia's face and tried not to laugh. "Are you actually jealous of a little songbird, Claudia?"

"Me? Jealous? Are you kidding, Lisa?" Claudia said and squared her shoulders in annoyance. "Don't you dare laugh or I'll tell the trio about Rick!"

Lisa laughed anyway and after a few minutes, Claudia ended up laughing with her.

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"I can barely take care of myself, Roy. How can I take care of two rookies? I don't even know what a leader is supposed to do?" Rick said in panic.

"Relax, Rick, you'll do just fine. If I didn't think you can handle it, I wouldn't have assigned them to you in the first place."

"Can't you give them to someone else, Roy. I didn't ask to be a leader—"

"No body did, Rick," Roy said and his blue eyes went cold with anger and regret.

"Look, kid, a lot of things that are happening to you now, I know you didn't ask for them but you got them so deal with it. Life is unfair, Rick. It's unexpected. It's short, sometimes even cruel. I don't know what else to tell you. I don't have all the answers. That's just how life is."

Staring at Roy, Rick suddenly realized for the first time that Roy was human after all despite his 'devil-may-care-attitude'.

"I kissed her."

"What?"

"I said; I kissed Lisa."

Roy said nothing but just stared at him as if he'd lost his mind.

Quickly he explained, "not down at the base but in the hospital when she came around. I didn't plan to kiss her, Roy. Well, I did but not in the hospital. I was hoping for someplace nice even romantic when it happened--"

"I'm surprised she didn't slap you," Roy finally said, grinning now with approval.

"She was shaking so bad… like she was in shock or something and she looked so sad, lost and alone. I just wanted to let her know that she was not alone. I've never seen any one that sad before, like she had nothing left to live for."

Taking a deep breath, Roy got up from his desk and walked to the view port in his office.

"Rick, Lisa's usually not like this."

Rick raised one eyebrow. "Usually like what?"

"Lost. Unsure and emotional. She's one of the most stable women I've ever known. Except when it comes to Riber--"

"Who's Riber!" Rick cut him off. "Down at the base, Lisa was mumbling that name too and she went weird on me."

"Riber was her fiancé."

"What!" Rick exclaimed in panic. "I thought you said she wasn't seeing anyone?"

"_Was_, Rick!" Roy replied and realized he was shouting. Looking away from Rick he explained who Riber was and hoped Claudia or Lisa wouldn't kill him for letting Rick know.

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"So… where are we going again?" Ben Dixon asked. "I'm hungry. Could we stop to grab a bite to eat before we get to where ever it is that we're going?"

"Do you guys mind if we get to know each other another time? I'm sorry but I'm just not in a very social mood tonight," Rick said quietly.

Max Sterling, the other rookie, the quiet one with dyed cool blue hair and blue aviator glasses stared at his new CO and shrugged. "Sure no problem, skipper."

Turning towards Ben, he said, "I'm hungry too. Race you to the diner!" Together they raced off leaving Rick alone.

Watching them go, Rick wondered if he was ever that carefree when he first joined the service—to worry about nothing else but what to eat. He sighed and began walking. He had no destination in mind, he just wanted to be alone and sort out his life. He wished he had a girlfriend or even a friend, besides Roy to visit, to share his thoughts with and hang out with.

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"Hi"

Lisa opened her eyes. "Rick?" she whispered.

"What are you doing here? Is there something wrong? " she looked up at him, bewildered.

"No. Nothing's wrong," he assured her quickly and then stuttered. "I—I didn't know where else to go. You were asleep so I just thought… I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry if I woke you. I'll go now, Lisa."

"No!" Lisa said almost violently as her eyes began to focus clearly.

"I mean, if you want to stay," she said softly. "I'm glad to have your company."

He didn't answer.

She watched as he came back to sit in the chair next to her bed and she felt like smiling and the feeling was, she discovered, quiet pleasant.

_Who was this man who touched her heart so gently? _

"Rick, are you okay?" Lisa finally asked after awhile of him just sitting there not saying anything to her at all.

"I'm sorry for hitting you down at the base, Lisa" said Rick, stammering. "In my report, I said, you fell, during the attack and hit your head. But I'll understand if you.."

"I deserved it," Lisa interrupted and smiled.

"Well, yes!" Rick laughed.

"But if you ever do that again, Corp--, I mean Lieutenant; I'll have your rank pulled so fast you wouldn't know what hit you. Are we clear?" Lisa said in her most authoritative tone that should've had Rick shaking in his boots. Instead he was smiling at her foolishly.

Lisa was puzzled for a moment. "What's so funny?"

"You."

"Me!"

"Yes," Rick answered and stared at her, then said weakly. "When you gave me that order, I suddenly had a picture of you in your umm.. . hospital gown giving orders… and …" Realizing his mistake, Rick quickly closed his mouth.

Lisa was startled for a moment then she began to laugh. "I guess you are right," she said as she looked down at her hospital issued garment. "I'm horrible when it comes to clothes but I have to admit, this gown is… an outrage! "

"Who said you have horrible taste in clothes?" Rick asked, confused at the thought. "You're one of the sharpest dressed officers I've ever seen. No matter the time of day or situation, I have never seen a crease or stain on your uniform."

Lisa lifted her chin. "It seems that's the only clothing I know how to pick. Have you ever seen me outside of my uniform?"

Rick frowned. "I... well, no. But none of us have been giving much time to be out of our uniform lately."

"Yes, that is true," Lisa winced. "I've always tried to give each squadron at least 24 hours off on a rotation shift but lately it's so difficult. We're loosing too many pilots and so few are joining." Lisa finished and bent her head to hide her sadness.

Rick frowned and started to speak, then gradually began to smile. "Hey but we do. Look at us, I'm not patrolling now and you, you're not at your station on the bridge giving me orders so technically, we are off duty. You know what this call for? A celebration!"

"Yes," she agreed and sat up. "But—"

"No butts," Rick smiled teasingly and stared at her. He waited until the silence stretched out, ten seconds, then twenty.

"You have beautiful eyes."

Caught of guard, Lisa smiled and laughed.

"I would have thought you'd come up with something more original."

"Why mess with perfection?" he said and sent her a cocky smile she should've detested.

"Sit right there, okay. I'll be right back."

Without giving Lisa a chance to refuse or speak he was out of his chair and out of the door.

Lisa watched him leave the room and she wished she could call him back, beg him to stay with her, to never leave her, to love her.

The thought struck out of nowhere.

For the first time, she realized she wanted to be more than friends with Rick Hunter. She wanted to be his girl, the woman he would come home to.

An odd feeling of rightness settled over her. She wanted Rick Hunter's love.

_Stop it, Lisa! This is not the time. _

Nevertheless her heart fuzzed with warmth at the thought of him.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE:**

_It's so odd and yet so pleasant,_ Lisa thought as she turned and saw a vase of lilies sitting on her night stand and the simple note that came with it.

There was nothing fancy or romantic about the note, just a simple 'Lisa, Welcome back. Rick'. Yet the simplicity of the note had caused her heart to do a mad little dance inside her chest when she'd first read it.

"Rick, Rick… what am I going to do with you?" She mused to herself as she turned back to check herself once more in the mirror then caught herself and laughed.

_Grow up, Lisa! Stop acting like a school girl with her first crush. _

Rolling her eyes at herself, she smiled. At that moment Rick's dark, dashing, blue-eyed image flashed across her mind and her heart fluttered again, but differently, almost madly, and she closed her eyes in despair.

_Forget him! He's a pilot. That's his life. You're asking for heartache if you keep this up. _

Reaching for her clear lip gloss, she put it on and mashed her lips together.

_Besides, he's too young for you, Lisa! You're his CO for godsake! You're supposed to know better! _

Sticking her tongue out at herself, Lisa turned, took a deep breath then walked out of her sleeping quarter without a backward glance. Anyone seeing her as she walked passed them would never have guessed that this woman, so fearless and determined in her duties to her chosen profession could ever be vulnerable or so naïve when it comes to following her heart.

Yet a tiny reckless part of her knew. No amount of self-persuasion could dim her growing attraction to Rick and matter how much she tried to deny his presence in her life; he would always be a constant source of her dreams, an unwanted shadow in her days from now on until the end of her days.

_Like Riber… _

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"You're looking really chirpy today, lieutenant," Ben said and nudged Max in the rib to look at Rick. "You must've got lucky last night."

"Ben, don't you have anything else to do but talk?" Rick replied in annoyance.

"Nope."

"Well, go and check on your plane or do something!"

"Yes sir, Lieutenant!" Ben answered with a mocking salute and walked to his plane as if he had all the time in the world.

"What about you, Max? Got something to say?"

Max shrugged his shoulders and remained leaning against Rick's plane.

"Spit it out, Max. I know that look."

"I'm behind you a hundred percent, skipper. The commander's one fine woman," Max finally said and watched Rick for a reaction.

"How did you know about Li—er.. Commander Hayes!" Rick said and turned a defensive glared on his corporal.

"I have eyes, don't I? You have it bad, skipper."

"And what is that supposed to mean, Mr. Hotshot?"

"Nothing, nothing at all, skipper. Just that you're dust when it comes to Commander Hayes. You're so crazy about her that when in her presence, you can't help it but stare at her when you think no one is watching. And you stand at attention, no pun intended, whenever she comes on the com," Max replied in his usual unhurried tone.

"Well, it's none of your business or anyone else," Rick said and tired to sound serious but ended up taking a deep breath to clam himself down.

"That bad, Max?" Rick asked after a while.

"Yep."

"What am I going to do?" Rick finally said as if admitting to himself for the first time that he does have a problem.

"Ask her out," Max replied and came to stand in front of Rick.

"Only about a hundred times, and each time, she turned me down." Rick answered and his shoulder slumped in defeat.

"Cheer up, skipper. Today might be the day the commander will say 'yes'. I heard that she was smiling when she came into work this morning so you never know. If I were you, I'd ask her to the Valentine Dance. Girls like stuff like that. They think it's romantic."

"And how would you know?" Rick challenged.

"Oh, I've been known to break a couple of hearts here and there, myself," Max said.

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"What's all the commotion, girls?" Lisa said as soon as she came into the bridge. The trio immediately stopped their chattering or bickering depending on how one walks into the situation and turned their attention to her.

"Lisa!" Sammie said and before Lisa could brace herself, Sammie was hugging her. "I'm so happy you're back! You don't know how much I missed you."

"Me too!" Vanessa chimed in and Kim said nothing but took up Sammie's place in squeezing her to death.

"Vanessa thinks Lt. Mark Hanson is too old to be asking me to the Valentine Dance," Sammie said before Lisa could free herself from Kim's death hug.

"Did not!" Vanessa replied with defensiveness in her voice and stand.

"Did too!" Sammie said and turned back to Lisa to explain. "She's jealous because she likes him and he asked me."

Before Vanessa could defend herself, Claudia's stern voice cut in.

"Okay girls, enough with the hugs and gossips. Now back to work! You'll have plenty of time to catch Lisa up on the latest couple match up and break up at break."

Lisa watched as the trio reluctantly shuffled to their station like naughty kids sent to bed with out their dinner and smiled.

Walking to her station, she gave Claudia a quick 'thank you' smile and began checking the day's schedule of patrols, missions, clearance codes and human resources complaints as well as supplies that needed her attention.

But just then the SDF-1 was struck out of the blue. Lisa was knocked off her feet and thrown onto the floor. Before she could get up, Gloval was already on the bridge and issuing orders to sound general quarters.

"Give me status, girls! How did they surprise us?"

Getting up quickly, Lisa looked at her monitor. "It's our port side, sir. It's taking the brunt of it. Macross is being badly shaken."

"All right," Gloval said, steadying himself. "Concentrate the shield energy there. Divert weapons power to the pin-point barrier system and get me the air wing commander."

"Enemy destroyers! They're moving into firing position." Vanessa yelled in panic even before Gloval could finish his order. "There's nothing we could do."

"Brace yourselves!" said Gloval.

But no shock came. The SDF-1 was fenced in by blue lightning but left un-struck. However all at once it became clear. The ship had sustained a terrible direct hit to its power generator. All systems failed on the bride. Auxiliary power brought some of them back to life but the SDF-1 was dead in the water.

"Status, Lisa!"

"The conning tower was the enemy's primary target, sir! The entire radar control crew is gone," Lisa said.

"No!" Sammie cried and was quickly surrounded by Kim and Vanessa. They took her hands and began hugging her in earnest.

Gloval said nothing to Lisa's report or Sammie's outburst. He just walked over to his seat, sat down and pulled his cap over his eyes.

Lisa understood Gloval's reaction but was confused by Sammie's.

"Lt. Hanson was a tech in the conning tower," Claudia quietly said to her before turning back to her station.

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"How long are we going to fly around in this Quadrant, Roy?" Rick asked. "We've been on red status for twelve hours now and I don't see the enemy anywhere."

"As long as the Captain deemed it necessary, Lieutenant Hunter," Lisa said and her image immediately appeared on Rick's forward screen.

"Li—Commander Hayes!" Rick said in surprised and cleared his throat to sound normal. "What are you doing out here and in the Cat's Eye? Why aren't you on the bridge where it's safe?"

"We're flying blind, Lieutenant. The Captain needs me to act as his eyes. I can't do that by sitting on the bridge can I?" Lisa said and switched to the main commo line before Rick could question her further.

"Commander Fokker, did you receive the latest orders from the Captain?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Roy answered.

"What order, Roy?" Rick asked as he appeared on Roy's right commo screen.

"Rick, Max, you're to escort the Cat's Eye into Quadrant 5. You're to stay with her no matter what. "

"What? That area is full of asteroid fragments and the last known presence of the enemy's main fleet. What kind of a mission is this?"

"You heard me, Rick," Roy said in his no-argument-tone that he rarely used.

"Why are you risking your life this way, Lisa?" Rick asked as soon as they broke away from Skull Squadron's formation and crossed into Quadrant 5. "I'm sure there are plenty of capable pilots who can pilot the Cat's Eye."

"What are you talking about, Lieutenant Hunter? I'm not risking my life anymore than you or any other pilots out here," Lisa replied in annoyance. "And for your information I am a pilot. Flying the Cat's Eye takes a lot of coordinating and believe me, it's a lot harder to maneuver than your Veritech."

"You know what I mean, Lisa. Flying in a combat zone in deep space is different than flying in a simulation module. You don't have the experience--"

"Hold it, right there, Lieutenant!" Lisa yelled in anger before she could stop herself. "You have no right to tell me what experience I have and don't have. You don't know anything about me or where I've been. So I suggest you keep your mouth shut and focused on the mission at hand."

"Dammit, Lisa, I don't want to quarrel with you."

"And one more thing, Lieutenant, it's Commander Hayes, not Lisa!"

This last comment of hers rifled him like no others. Here he was, scared to death for her and all she could think about was putting him in his place-- denying his right even as a friend to care about her safety.

Staring at her through his commo screen, he could see her beautiful hazel eyes going green with anger and her checks flushed with fury. He knew she was royally pissed!

_What a woman!_ He acknowledge to himself with male pride. But looking into those fiery green eyes, he could see that there was no trust there. No softening or warmth; not even a flicker of pity thrown his way when he was practically dying for her.

_Back down, Rick,_ he told himself but following it through was difficult.

"No wonder you're such a sourpuss!" he swore before he could stop himself. "You are the most stubborn, most reckless, most willful woman I have ever met. And to think I was going to ask you to go with me to the Valentine's Dance. I wouldn't touch you with a ten feet pole now even if you are the last woman on Earth!"

Lisa shrieked in outrage. "And you, Rick Hunter, are the most arrogant, most irritating man I have ever met! I wouldn't go with you even if you asked me!"

There was an eternity of hushed breaths through the comm line that Rick could hear now and that's when he realized that Lisa's and his conversation had been heard by everyone— every pilots in every squadron as well as everyone on the SDF-1's bridge.

Suddenly, Roy's laughter and image appeared on his screen.

"I see you two finally talked. I'm not complaining, it is quiet entertaining but I don't think this is the time or place."

Lisa could feel her cheeks burning up with embarrassment, anger and humiliation. She wished she could crawl into a little black hole and disappear.

Roy continued. "Rick, do as the Commander tells you. Trust me; she's capable of flying any plane she puts her mind to so stop your fretting."

"I realize you are angry," Lisa heard Roy said and realized that he was on her personal comm line now. "But it is worry for you that makes him behave that way. He feels responsible for you. He doesn't want to see you get hurt."

"He isn't responsible for me. I can take care of myself."

"The way you did on Mars?"

Her face went warm. She didn't like to think about Mars. "I'm grateful for what he did. I will always be in his debt, but I can't let that stop me from doing my duty."

"You're grateful. Is that all you feel for him—gratitude? Or is there something else?"

_Why was Roy pushing her? _

"I admit I have come to.. to care for him—"

"15 Bogies at 2 o'clock Commander, they're coming at us hot and fast," Corporal White said and Lisa realized she had totally forgotten about her co-pilot.

"Their ETA, Corporal?"

"3 minutes, Ma'am"

"Lisa, make a run for it. Max and I will delay them. Roy and the rest of the team should be here in 5 minutes," Rick ordered as he appeared on her commo screen.

"You're out numbered, Rick! Are you looking to get yourself killed?"

"Just go, Lisa! The Cat's Eye has no weapons and with you here will only slow Max and I down."

"I am not leav—"

"Sheesh Lisa, I can't be worrying about you and focus on—"

"Roger that, Lieutenant," Lisa said and cut him off before he could say more. Quickly she maneuvered to drop back and began heading out of Quadrant 5 in full speed all the while silently yelling at herself for being a fool.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX:**

"What the hell was that? Have you lost your mind or do you just have a death wish?" Rick screamed at her as he jumped out of his Veritech.

If anything had happened to her, he wouldn't have been able to go on. He couldn't lie to himself. He couldn't do it anymore. He knew he was acting like a fool but he didn't care.

One look at his face and Lisa knew he wasn't just unhappy. He was furious.

"I haven't gone deaf, so you don't need to yell as if I have. For your information, I was doing what I was trained to do. I don't leave my men behind." Her voice was pitched low, not in the least remorseful or defiant.

Rick fought down the unreasonable anger churning in his belly. She looked calm and cool. Reserved. The usual Lisa and his fingers itched to shake her—or strangle her. Instead he raked a hand through his hair in agitation until waves spilled across his forehead again.

"Don't give me that crap, Lisa!" he said and tried not to let his anger get the best of him. But it was difficult when all he could see was red and the top of his head felt ready to blow right off.

There was a long silence. Too long. It stretched out between them until she could feel the full weight of his disapproval, anger and frustration. She knew he was forcing her to speak first.

"I don't have to justify my actions to you, Lieutenant Hunter."

"What you did, that's just plain stupidity!" He stepped closer, his fingers settling around her upper arms and she could feel the tremor running through him.

Looking around the hanger bay, she noticed that everyone's attention was so riveted on them that they've stopped working. Counting to ten, she shot him a venomous look.

"Come with me," she demanded and he released her arms but retained possession of her wrist. Lisa let her breath out slowly, trying to swallow her anger and embarrassment as they moved away from the now busy hanger bay and the possibility of anyone overhearing them.

"You can let go of me now."

"Not quite yet."

It was the wrong thing to say. Rick could see that immediately. Her eyes flashed hotly at him, a quick glimpse of temper and then she turned her face away, obviously struggling for control.

When they reached one of the briefing rooms in the hanger bay she jerked away from him and he let her go. He hated to think what would have happened if Roy and the rest of the squad hadn't gotten to her in time. He fought the urge to hold her, to make sure she was real and alive. It was the same protective instinct that had gotten him in trouble with her so many times in the past.

Lisa knew she shouldn't care if he was upset with her—but she did.

"Don't you look at me like that, Rick Hunter!" Her dark blond hair went in all directions as she shook her head in denial.

"Like what?"

"Like I don't value who I am, like I'm trying to kill myself, like you know what's good for me. I told you, you don't know me so stop assuming you do. I don't need your pity."

Rick remained silent.

"I don't care if you believe me," Lisa said and stepped further away from him, her eyes suddenly hard and sparkling with temper. "Okay. That was a lie. I do care that you believe me. Why would I lie?"

"I don't know, Lisa. Why don't you explain it to me? For a very intelligent woman, twice now you've been very stupid."

The anger glazing her eyes was fading and he remained silent, waiting for her to speak.

"I… I've lost too many people in my life. People I care about and was unable to help them," Lisa said and stammered several times before she could continue. "Everyday, I send hundreds of young men and women out to fight knowing that they'll never be back."

There were tears in her eyes and she didn't know why. The door in her head was cracking open, the memory spilling out no matter how hard she tried to push it away from her. Wrapping her arms around herself, she continued.

"You see… I was engaged once. His name was Karl Riber. We've know each other forever and I've been in love with him for just as long. He was the reason I joined the service… so we could be together. He was stationed on Mars when the base was attacked."

She lifted her face to his, tears swimming in her eyes and there was something so vulnerable in the way she looked at him that he hurt.

"The room that we were in on Mars was Riber's. I'd promised him that I would get to Mars but I never did until that day but I was too late."

"Eight years is a very long time, Lisa, to blame yourself for something you had no control over."

Lisa covered her face with her hands now, her slender shoulders shaking as she wept. She wept for Riber and for herself. Grieved for what could never be.

"I know, Rick. I know. But it still hurts so much and I miss him. I miss him... It's not fair."

His stomach twisted in sympathy, concern and affection. He ached to pull her into his arms but he knew she would not let him. Sadness choked him and he said nothing more. There was nothing for him to do but hope his presence gave her some comfort.

After a time, Lisa let her breath out slowly and cleared her throat.

"What I did today has nothing to do with Riber. I delayed in getting out of Quadrant 5 because I wanted some of them to come after me and they did. You and Max were outnumbered and you know it."

He counted to ten in silence before he spoke. "And you almost got yourself, including your co-pilot killed. If Roy and the rest of the squad hadn't gotten there in time, you would have been..." He trailed off.

Lisa winced. "I knew the risks as you did when you told me to leave. I'm a soldier, Rick, and an officer of the RDF, not some fragile flower you have to protect."

"Yes I knew the risks. And I would do it all over again because I never want to see you hurt, Lisa. Don't you get it, yet? I care what happens to you."

His voice was even, ultra-calm and so genuine that there was no doubt in Lisa's mind that he meant exactly what he said. Emotions she didn't know she had overwhelmed her and her heart gave a little sigh.

Why on earth she felt affection for this particular man, she wished she knew.

Gently Lisa said, so he would believe her. "I… I couldn't let you and Max die when I could have done something to help. I wouldn't be able to live with myself, Rick. Please let's just leave it like that. We're both here and we didn't loose anyone today, that's what is important."

"Lisa —"

"I was terrified for you, too, Rick!" And without thought or intention, Lisa Hayes's fingertips feathered though his hair and it took a moment for her meaning to penetrate the wave of emotion drowning him.

She was acting as if… as if she had some feelings for him and he could not stop the warmth that was spreading through him. He swallowed, not trusting his voice.

"You make it so hard for me to be angry with you when you say things like that to me. It's not fair, Lisa."

Tossing him her most winning smile she chuckled.

Caught off balance, Rick stared at her in puzzlement. Her chin was thrust up and there was a challenge in her beautiful eyes, not anger. Her mouth was lush and bow-shaped, as if anticipating his kiss, not pulled down into a grimace of disappointment.

And he knew. He had to kiss her.

"Rick, we shouldn't…" But he didn't seem to hear her for his lips were against hers.

He kissed her.

He kissed her with all the yearning he had for her and she didn't push him away as he'd fear she would. Feeling a bit more confident, he deepened the kiss, giving her long, heated kisses; hot drugging kisses that he knew would leave her wanting more.

A shuffling sound outside the hall drew Rick's attention and his head came up, both of them remembering at the same instant that the door to the briefing room was unlocked.

Lisa made the mistake of looking up and right into his eyes. They were so blue, hot and intense. They were staring at her with longing. Without saying a word, she reached up and pulled his head back down, captured his lips and kissed him.

God, how she'd been so afraid for him when she'd realized he was going to die to give her a chance to escape. Maybe her attraction to him was purely physical, but she didn't care at this moment.

"There you two are," Roy said and walked into the room.

Reluctantly Rick let her go. Breathing hard, they stared at each other as if really seeing each other for the first time.

"This can't be happening," she managed to say after a few seconds.

"It already has," he answered.

"So does this mean you two have made up and will be going with each other to the dance?" Roy asked as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. "Because everyone outside of this room is dying to know."

"No!" Rick and Lisa both said as they turned to face him.

"Not even if he's the last man on Earth!" Lisa quickly added and walked out the door.

"Who said I'll ask you!" Rick yelled after her and pushed Roy out of the way as he made his exit from the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN:**

Brushing a wandering strand of dark blonde hair back from her cheek, Lisa wandered idly over to her favorite spot in the park. Glancing around she saw a couple holding hands and she sighed, a half-smile on her mouth.

_They looked so happy and in love, _she thought. And in that instant, she became aware of a familiar ache inside her.

The ache of wanting to feel someone there when she reached out in the dark night, to have someone to tell jokes to and argue with, to feel the world stop spinning on its axis when that someone kissed her, to cook meals and buy surprise presents for someone.

She wanted a love as real as the sidewalks she used to walk on back on Earth, and as dazzling as the fireworks on the fourth of July.

"A penny for your thought."

"Oh, hi, Claudia." Flushing, Lisa turned to look away.

"What were you smiling at before the frown?" Claudia asked.

Lisa laughed. "Young lovers."

"Anyone we know?"

"No." Lisa paused then continued. "Are you ever lonely, Claudia?"

"Sure, who isn't?"

"But you're with Roy—you've always given me the feeling that you're happy, content." Lisa turned to look at Claudia in surprised.

"And I am—happy that is, until I remember that he's a pilot. I know the risks and I have learned to live with them but sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night… lonelier than I've ever been in my life. I don't know what I'd do if he didn't come back one of these…" and Claudia stopped for she didn't need to finish. She knew Lisa understood.

Together, in silence they leaned over the rail and watched the city of Macross bathe in EVE's fake sunset.

"Sometimes…" Lisa began the sentence without thinking and stopped short at the first word.

"Sometimes what?" Claudia probed.

"Nothing." Lisa said.

"Come on, Lisa. Don't give me that 'nothing' routine. We've know each other too long to start keeping secrets."

"I've learned to recognize the types of men in this world long ago, Claudia, but Rick…he's sort of different. I don't know why he is interested in me? Is it my position? My father's? Is it just this "older woman" challenge or…"

"That's exactly how Roy made me feel when we first met," Claudia said and gave her a wry grin.

Lisa rolled her eyes. "You're a hopeless romantic, Claudia. Whose' side are you on again?" But she smiled to herself.

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_My God_, Rick thought for the hundredth time that week, _she kissed me!_ and every time he still found himself amazed by her action.

He knew he would never forget that kiss for as long as he lived for it was the first real emotion Lisa had ever showed him that she cared.

He'd felt sexual attraction in the past, although it had never been as strong as the way he felt it now, but he had never _liked_ a woman almost as much as he found her attractive. Lisa was someone he would like to have as a friend and someone he wanted badly to go to bed with—the combination was dynamite, he decided, smiling to himself.

"Hello? You here, skipper?"

"Come on in, Max," Rick said as he looked at his watch. "Well?" he asked, one dark brow rising sarcastically as Max approached him.

"Sorry, I tried but no one would spill," Max answered apologetically.

"She's definitely going to be there," Ben said enthusiastically as he walked into Rick's quarters without knocking. "Got the info strait from Claudia!"

Rick's mouth curved into a smile and he grinned, wicked amusement in his face. "Well, what are we waiting for, let's party!"

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"I can't go!" Lisa snapped.

"Yes you can!" Claudia countered.

"Everybody's going to laugh at me," Lisa said, desperate now.

"If you don't go, it's a guarantee they will laugh at you. What's the matter with you, for heaven's sake? I have never known you to back down from a challenge, Lisa. Why start now?"

"You don't understand," Lisa stopped short, biting her tongue till it hurt. "If I show up, everybody will know that Rick and I… well you know, they'll think that we've made up when in truth, we were never a couple to begin with. I hate being the topic of everyone's conversation; it's so… so unprofessional and unbecoming of an officer!"

"Rubbish," Claudia rasped in frustration as she continued to sort through Lisa's closet. "Here, wear this. Every woman there tonight will be in either red or white so you'll just have to go with this color."

"But that's my favorite dress, Claudia! I can't wear that to the dance. I've been saving it for a special occasion. "

"It's exactly why you're wearing it! And you're going!

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Lisa could never afterward remember much about that Valentine's Dance; she had moved through it like someone in a dream, and the cloudy images of the dream obliterated most of what happened for her.

When they had showed up, she'd been the first one to see him. Rick was sitting at a table with Max, Ben and the trio. He was laughing at something Max said and she had to admit that he looked like a million bucks.

Lisa knew that in memory of Lt. Hanson and the entire radar crew, the trio had decided to go dateless to the dance. She was glad to see that Max and Ben had voluntarily appointed themselves as the trio's escorts.

As if in slow motion, she watched as Rick swung around and looked at her.

Even from across the room, she could have sworn she saw his blue eyes widening in appreciation as he saw her and that made her heart skip a beat. As he got up and came closer to her, voices, the loud music and laughter in the dance hall seemed to fade.

More importantly, Lisa noticed the many sidelong looks he was getting from other women as they passed him. It was dangerous and absurd for her to feel possessive, proprietary, about Rick, since they weren't even dating, yet she could not help it.

"You look sensational!" Rick whistled softly when he reached her.

The words caressed her, the husky tone of his voice made her feel warm and special. Lisa felt her legs go weak.

"Thank you," she said unevenly.

This was her favorite dress, a pale turquoise silk that clung to her, from the scooped neckline down over the firm rounding of her breasts to her small waist and slim hips, ending just above her knees.

"You're beautiful," Rick murmured again as he moved his hand to touch her hair, strands of it running like silk through his fingers. Lisa held her breath, her eyes dilated with excitement and she forgot why she'd been so set against coming to the dance.

Slowly Rick drew Lisa a little closer, until her breast lightly grazed his chest. She looked up at him and he could see the question in her eyes but it disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

_Could Lisa tell how nervous he was? Could she see his awkwardness, know how strange and yet wonderful it was for him to be around her?_

He had no idea what to say or do next. Then he saw her smiled and he caught her hands, lifted them to his shoulders, still holding them tightly in his fingers.

"I thought that perhaps you wouldn't wish to dance with me."

"Why not?"

"Because you're still pissed off at me for calling you a sour puss."

"I've decided to forgive you," Lisa said and the color swept into her cheeks.

Staring at her, he realized for the first time why he's so crazy about her. Lisa constantly surprised and delighted him.

Together they slow danced to a song Rick was sure it was meant for people to disco but he didn't care. He was dancing with Lisa and she was finally smiling at him like he was the only man in the world.

Distantly Rick heard the muted chatter of people in the background; he heard the clink of glasses and the changed of the music to a slow, romantic song. But as far as he was concern, they might as well have been on a desert island.

"People will talk," Lisa murmured, allowing her head to rest lightly on his shoulder. She was intensely conscious of him, the warmth of his skin heating her own as their bodies brushed lightly against each other.

"Because we're dancing?"

He knew exactly what she meant. It wasn't that they were dancing, but how they were dancing. There was not a millimeter of space between them and she was gyrating slowly against his body, in time to the slow, steady beat of the love song.

_Lord, but was this how she danced with other men?_ The thought sent a shard of searing jealousy straight through him and he curled his fingers into her long hair, tilting her face to his.

"There's so much I want to know about you," he said.

"There isn't much to know; I'm not that interesting," Lisa said and she gave a low-throated gurgle of laughter and shook her head.

She knew Rick was far more interesting. He'd been to so many different countries, traveling with his dad's flying circus and done so much. He'd lived, experienced life while all she'd ever done at his age was trained, study, read reports and plan flight operations.

"I've never been to a flying circus before," Lisa said as she trailed her fingers from his shoulders to the back of his neck and he audibly caught his breath.

"You'll love it," Rick said, his tone expressing confidence that she would be going there. "There's so much freedom in fly for fun, for enjoyment, Lisa. I can't wait to get back to Earth, leave the Defense Force and fly my Mockingbird again."

Lisa felt a queer little shiver run over her skin. "It's hard to believe that we're only a month away from Earth," she said haltingly, her brows drawing together.

Rick drew back his head and looked at her sharply. "Something wrong?"

"No," Lisa said, hiding her distress by smiling at him again. "I would like a soda, though."

Nodding, Rick pointed her to where Roy and Claudia's table was then he moved away into the crowd, walking towards the bar.

As soon as he was gone, Lisa began walking to Roy and Claudia's table, frowning.

How could she admit that she was upset at the idea that she would soon be saying goodbye to him? The Defense Forces was her life, and she had chosen it freely. There was no way she could leave the military.

If she hadn't thought so before, its clear now; Rick and her, they were opposites. They would never suite. Tears stung behind her lowered lids and she fought to stop them trickling down her face and betraying her.

_How ridiculous,_ she told herself, _how idiotic; to cry over a man you can't stand._ But it wasn't just a man she was crying over, it was the shattering of a dream.

Lisa hadn't dared to dream for years. She had kept busy with her career, excited by it, growing more and more ambitious as she realized her own abilities and brains, and for a long time she hadn't noticed how the years were passing without her private life containing anything but her job.

Only lately had she realized how empty her world had become.

"That's a deep sigh," Roy said slowly, watching her averted face. "The knucklehead said something out of line?"

"No," Lisa said, shaking her head and sitting down on one of the chair Roy had pulled up for her.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we havea special treat for you tonight," said the master of ceremonies and everybody in the dance hall stopped what they were doing and turned to look at him. "I want you to give a big welcome to Minmei, Macross's own singing superstar!"

There was a loud, thundering of claps and whistles from mostly the male officers as Minmei in a short, tight pink tub dress strutted onto the stage.

"The song I'll be singing tonight is very special to me," Minmei said in her merry, sexy voice and battled her eyes at the audience. "I've just written it and it's dedicated to a certain pilot; for without him, I wouldn't be here tonight – Lieutenant Commander Roy Fokker, Skull Team leader and Veritech squadron commander!"

"What?" Claudia exclaimed and turned to look at Roy who was busy trying not to look embarrassed.

"Commander Fokker," Minmei continued, "is a true hero and I am thankful for men and women like him who protects us everyday. Thank you! The title of my song is 'My boyfriend's a Pilot' I hope you'll like it, Commander." Minmei finished with a laugh and wink at Roy.

Claudia eyed Roy again and Lisa had to suppress a laugh from bubbling out.

"You and I are going to have a serious talk, Roy Fokker," Claudia said, her mouth straight and hard, and this time Lisa couldn't suppress her laugh.

There was a little pause, then Claudia said, "And you, missy," pointing her finger at Lisa, "go find your own flyboy!"

This last comment threw Lisa into a roll of laughter and Roy joined in.

"What did I miss?" Rick demanded, appearing beside them and setting Lisa's drink down in front of her.

"Minmei's dedication… Claudia… jealous… fishwife… mood and she…" Lisa tried to say but couldn't stop laughing.

Rick looked at Roy for help in ciphering Lisa's words but Roy only waved his hand in defeat and smiled at Claudia like a fool.

"Rick, dance with me!" Claudia ordered and before Rick could answer, Claudia was already dragging him to the dance floor which sent Lisa and Roy into more laughter.

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"Rick, I had a wonderful time tonight," Lisa said as they stood next to each other, side by side in the elevator.

Rick nodded. "I did too. Thank you… err for letting me take you home."

Lisa turned towards him and looked at him searchingly.

"Rick, I… I "

"Lisa, I …"

"Attention! All military personnel, report to your duty station immediately. This is not a drill."


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

"Captain, I have a top priority message from Earth. It's from the UEG headquarter!" Vanessa said in an unsteady voice but her voice grew with excitement. "After all this time, we've finally reached them. Captain! We're saved!"

"Are you sure?" Gloval asked and walked over to Vanessa's station.

"It's a bit distorted but the signature is definitely UEG and it's personally addressed to you, for your eyes only, Sir."

A couple of seconds passed before Gloval spoke again. "I'll take it in my ready room. Lisa, you're with me. Claudia, you have the bridge."

Lisa was vaguely aware of what was going on around her for her thoughts kept wandering back to what happened in the elevator last night. She looked to the floor as she felt the blood rush to her face. Goodness, the things she'd let him do to her. The heat in her cheeks intensified.

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_"Attention! All military personnel, report to your duty station immediately. This is not a drill." _

_"Dammed!" Rick scowled and quickly reached over to the elevator panel to change floor. _

_Before she could muster a reply, the SDF-1 jolted violently, pitching her right into Rick. Instantly his arms were tight about her shoulders. _

_"Are you all right, Lisa?" _

_"Yes, thank you. I'm—" _

_And just like that, without warning, his mouth took hers in a ruthless, possessive kiss. The need they've been suppressing between them since their first meeting seemed to swirl around them now, enveloping them in a luxuriant haze as she kissed him back, her intensity matching his. _

_Oh God, he tasted so good! _

_Warmth spread through her as his hands reached down to cup her bottom, bring her even closer to him. Involuntarily, her hands moved to his chest and she lightly ran her fingertips across the smooth planes, wanting to tear his shirt off. _

_He was so hot, strong and alive. He was perfect. _

_She wanted the kiss to go on forever. His mouth was so warm over hers, so soft, she drifted dreamily, forgetting where she was and who she was._

_His hands moved back up again, across the curves of her back, as his mouth pressed against the bare skin of her neck. She leaned into him as waves of pleasure like she'd never experienced before coursed through her as his tongue trailed a path down the nape of her neck. _

_A soft moan of his name escaped her lips when she felt the pressure of his tongue against the pulse just above her collarbone. His hands moved between their bodies, to her stomach, and crept stealthily toward her breasts until his roaming fingers found them. _

_She offered no protest when his fingers began tracing circles around her nipples. Before she knew it, he had one hardened peak between his teeth and began to suckle her. She could feel the heat of his mouth through the fabric of her dress, and she shivered. _

_She had to stop him. This was wrong, dangerous even. _

_Instead she reached down to clutch the back of his head, tangling her fingers in his dark hair. _

_And she knew… _

_She wanted this all along, she admitted to herself. His mouth, his touch. She couldn't deny it. _

_Abruptly another violent jolt split them a part and they stared at each other for a few minutes before awareness shot through them. _

_"Rick... we mustn't. I.. I have to get to the bridge." _

_"You're right. This is not the time," he groaned in frustration. "And before you say anything else, I'm not sorry, Lisa. I've wanted to kiss you, touch you like that since the first day I saw you!" _

_She gasped and tilted her head back to look at him, and in seconds his mouth descended on hers again. _

_This time his kiss was soft, tender. He cupped her chin with his palm as his lips gently caressed her own and then he retreated, leaving her painfully unsatisfied. _

_Her eyes reluctantly fluttered open, only to find his deep blue ones staring back at hers. His mouth curved into a smile. _

_"What's so funny?" she asked. _

_"I can't seem to control myself around you." _

_She dropped her hands to her side, her cheeks burning. _

_"Don't be embarrassed, Lisa." His eyes roved over her body again. "Have you any idea how beautiful you are?" _

_She would have told him to shut up and get to his Veritech before Roy court martial him for being MIA but the elevator door had opened and he'd already stepped out. _

_0000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_I must forget that kiss,_ Lisa reminded herself with a scowl.

Forget the kiss and all the intoxicating feelings it stirred in her. But she couldn't for she'd looked into his face and saw nothing but frank admiration—almost reverence—in his eyes when he looked at her.

_This is all so terribly unfair,_ Lisa thought, balling her hands into fists.

"Lisa," Claudia said sternly and she had to blink a couple of times before she could focus clearly on Claudia's face.

"Yes?"

But Claudia did not answer her instead she turned to the Captain and gave him a small-sharp salute in acknowledgement.

Lisa shuddered at her mistake and quickly followed the captain to his ready room.

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"What do you think?" Gloval asked after showing Lisa the message on his personal comm.

"It's typical of my father to be secretive and evasive when its bad news. But I think we should not draw any conclusions until the messenger arrives which will be in two hours."

Gloval said nothing but nodded his head in agreement.

"I'll receive our guest, Captain," Lisa said and turned to walk out when Gloval stopped her.

"Lisa, I want alternatives to all possible scenarios. Let's assumed the news is against us. I want no surprises."

"I understand, Sir. You'll have them at my next shift."

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"Me and Max have a hot double date tonight with the Thompson twins!" Ben exclaimed loudly as they walked out of the hanger bay. "I'm so excited and I can't hide it!"

"I hear you, Ben. I think everybody's heard you," Rick answered as he saw Ben elbowed Max suggestively in the ribs.

"What about you, skipper?" Max asked.

"What about me?" Rick's eyes narrowed.

"You asked her already?"

"No," Rick said quietly, knowing without needing to hear her name, which "her" Max meant.

"I think she's ignoring me... at this moment, Max, I don't care. This last patrol has me beat. I'm going to turn in early tonight. You and Ben have a good time."

"Hey, boss, look, down there. Something's happening, everybody's running around like chickens with their heads cut off," Ben said.

Together, they all leaned over the rail and looked out to the hanger bay as a shuttle taxi in.

"That's an official UEG shuttle!" Max said as the plane's insignia came into view. "I didn't know we've made contact with Earth. Did you, skipper?"

"No," Rick replied. "But whatever it is, I don't think it is good news."

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As the messenger came off the shuttle and into the elevator that would take him to where she was, Lisa stood and put on her most formal demeanor to greet him. For a moment the officer's face was hidden in shadows as he came around the corner then he stepped into the light.

Lisa 's lungs froze.

She had never expected to see him again.

He was as tall and handsome as she remembered. But she did not remember him as this grand, imposing figure, not this man in the prime of his power; sure of his authority and his strength.

Eight years ago he was much younger. A man certainly, but flushed with the fresh enthusiasm of youth.

_"Lisa," he said as he led her into one of the empty classroom, "my orders came in this morning. I have to leave immediately." _

_Her mind became a blur as she looked up at his face, at the strong and attractive features she'd come to know. _

_A little voice inside of her head said, "Don't ask." _

_She ignored it. _

_"Where?" _

_"The Pacific Ocean." _

_"I… I'm happy for you. It's want you wanted." She tried to smile at him and was fairly certain she had failed for he'd tilted up her chin to look at him. _

_"You're upset. I am, as well for this couldn't have come at a worse time. I still can't believe it that Riber's gone." His face tightened and something dark and deep flared in his eyes. "Damned this war!" _

_Quickly she took his hand. _

_"Daniel, I am happy for you. Honestly, I am." She said, her voice catching on a sob. "Please lets not talk about the war." _

_Something terrible would come of this, she just knew it but could not make herself tell him how afraid she was for him, for her, for all of them. This war was slowly tearing at her sanity. _

_Oh, Riber… _

_She could not breathe. She shook her head. "I… I wish you didn't have to leave so soon." _

_He stared at her for a moment. "The Pacific is not Mars, Lisa. I'll be careful," he added. _

_She folded her arms across her chest and gave herself a moment to refocus. "Yes, I know, you're right. I'm just being silly." _

_His gaze was brilliant as it met hers. Very softly, he said, "I'll miss you, write to me." _

_He kissed her cheek lightly and gave her a mocking smile then he was gone. _

And that was the last time she'd seen him alive.

Six months later, she'd been told that on a secret mission, his plane had crashed into the Pacific. His body was never found.

"Commander Hayes," he said with a mocking smile when he reached her. "I'm to deliver a message from the UEG headquarter to Captain Gloval."

Lisa mentally pulled herself out from the past and opened her mouth, but no words emerged.

_Snap out of it, Lisa! _

She'd changed.

He noticed.

He'd always thought her smart, insecure and young—too young for Riber for sure but looking at her now he had to change his mind.

The woman standing in front of him was anything but insecure and fragile. She was beautiful and confident; sure of herself and where she belonged. She was every inch an officer of the RDF. He was proud of her.

She knew he was watching her. She could feel the intensity of his gaze.

"Welcome to the SDF-1, Commander Sinclair." Lisa was proud of the way her voice remained steady, when inside she didn't feel steady at all.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE:**

"Just tell me that my father didn't lie to me," Lisa said as they entered the elevator that would take them to the bridge.

"No. He didn't, Lisa," Sinclair answered and noticed that Lisa's fists were balled at her sides.

"Then tell me what happened," Lisa said through clenched teeth. "I don't understand," she added in a harsh whisper. "How could you let him tell me that you've died? You of all people should have known. You were there when the news about Riber came..."

He shifted uncomfortably when her stricken eyes caught his.

"Lisa, if I could've stopped it. I would. In a way, I did die."

She jerked as if he had struck her.

He quickly explained, "when the plane that was carrying me and two other officers crashed over Italy, I survived but my memory didn't. I was out of uniform. I had no I.D. on me. I was on a top secret mission, Lisa. I was supposed to be dropped into enemy territory and gather information. They told you my plane crashed over the Pacific because we weren't supposed to be in Europe…"

"Stop," Lisa said. Her voice was low and had a roughness he did not expect. "Missing memory? Are you joking? I don't know if I can believe you even if it's true."

"I never meant to hurt you, Lisa. For six months, the family that found me and took care of me didn't even know if I was going to live or die. I spoke Italian fluently so it was not hard for them or me to believe that I was just a civilian especially after two years and no one came to look for me. It wasn't until a year ago that my memory returned."

There was utter sadness in his voice as he continued. "You can't imagine my horror and sadness when I found out what had happened at Macross Island. I thought you'd died too."

"What? Didn't they—"

"No. Lies, Lisa. The world was told that Macross Island and its' resident were destroyed, killed during the take off of the SDF-1. The common believe is that when Gloval tried to lift off, a self-destruct bomb as trigged for the aliens did not want us to use their' technology."

"My God! How could they? How could my father condone this lie, Daniel?"

"He had no choice, Lisa. Everyone on the Council voted against him. They were afraid the world was going to panic and bring hell on Earth if they knew we were being invaded by aliens."

"But that's exactly what happened. We were attacked!"

He wanted to say something to reassure her but he knew she would not welcome his sympathies so he let her have her moment of peace. A peace he knew would not last for the news he carry would destroy her and everyone else on board the SDF-1.

"Your father's different now, Lisa. He's not as rigid or controlling as he once was. Since your disappearance, he's aged a good ten years. It was he who requested me for this task. He knew what seeing me would mean to you."

I've stopped talking to him as a daughter—"

"I've missed you, Lisa," he said out of the blue and his tenderness caught her by surprise. "I looked for you as soon as I could. I never thought I would see you again."

_God, he was killing her. She'd missed him too_!

She'd missed his easy smile, his protectiveness and his friendship. She'd missed him and she didn't even know it until this very moment. Being in his presence again and knowing he cared, not because she was the Admiral's daughter but because she was Lisa, a shy, insecure girl who just wanted to belong was such a wonderful feeling she hadn't experienced in a long time.

"I've missed you too, Daniel," Lisa said and, without warning, embraced him in a tight hug. She knew she was breaking military protocol but she didn't care. Daniel was here and he was alive.

"Look at us," Lisa said after a few minutes of being enveloped in his warmth, "we had better stop this or I'll start crying."

Half turning when the elevator door opened Lisa's face turned red with embarrassment and guilt when she recognized the three pilots.

"Rick!"

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As soon as Commander Sinclair finished his message and sat down, pandemonium ensued.

General Maistroff was the first to speak. "The Council can not do this! Who do they think we are? Live baits?"

"A year of being chased through the solar system by a race of alien giants and this is their answer!" General Caruthers interjected.

"This is an outrage!" They both exclaimed and turned toward Gloval.

Captain Gloval said nothing for a long time. He just looked at each of them and then directed his question to Commander Sinclair.

"So, Commander Sinclair, what do we do with you?"

"Captain, I knew the conditions when I accepted this assignment. I think highly of Commander Hayes and she thinks very highly of you. There's no other place I'd rather be at this time. It will be an honor to server under you, Sir."

"I see… that will be all, gentlemen."

"But!"

Gloval spoke again as if he hadn't heard General Maistroff and Caruthers' objection. "We will need some time to think on this situation. We will talk again before I make a decision, gentlemen." Turning to Sinclair once again Gloval asked him to wait on the bridge and, to send Lisa in to see him.

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"This is the best I can do at the moment, Daniel," Lisa said with sincerely apology as she keyed in the access code and they walked into a private quarter. "No promises but I'll get you something better in a couple of days."

"You know me, Lisa. I'm not picky. Just as long as I have a place to lay my head for a couple of hours, I'm happy."

"I'll have your personal belongings from the shuttle transferred here in a little while but for now, why don't you just relax for a couple of hours and I'll show you around after my shift. I want to know more about what happened to you. There's so much that has happened since we last saw each other."

He smiled broadly now, his eyes twinkling as he looked at her. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

"In love with whom?" Lisa asked seriously and blinked in confusion.

"You know exactly whom I speak of."

"Of course I'm not in love with him." She dropped her gaze. "Why would you even think such a thing?"

"One, you acted as if hugging me was a sin when you saw him. Two, you nearly cried when he wouldn't look at you in the elevator. And three, your spine stiffen up like a ramrod when you walked out of the elevator without a glance a him. Clearly you admire him, and it's obvious you find him attractive."

"No, you're wrong." Lisa forced herself to smile at him.

"Come on, Lisa. This is me you're trying to fool. I've never seen you so smitten since Riber. If you ask me, it's high time you move on. It's not healthy to live in the past."

"Surely you're not suggesting he's the real deal, Daniel?"

"Of course I am. Why not? He's the first guy I've seen you looked at twice since Riber."

"Need I remind you that I'm five years older and I'm his CO. Have you forgotten such a minor detail? Besides, we have nothing in common. The military is my life while he can't wait to resign. He told me so. You and I know how hard it is to have a life outside of the military."

"Excuses, Lisa, excuses. So who is he?"

"His name is Rick Hunter. You remember Roy Fokker?" Seeing Daniel nod, Lisa continued. "Apparently they've known each other before Roy joined the service. He's like a little brother to Roy."

"Interesting..."

"Don't even think it!" Lisa ordered.

"What?"

"I know that look. Rick's different. He's not ..."

"Cocky? A Daredevil? In love with flying more than life itself? A player?..." Sinclair finished.

"I didn't say he wasn't. Just that he's different. Oh, Daniel, I don't know how to explain Rick to you. I can't even explain him to myself."

"Go see him, Lisa," Sinclair said.

Looking at him, Lisa wondered why he looked so sad at that moment as if he'd lost all his reasons to live.

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_You're a moron, Lisa,_ she said to herself for the hundredth time since leaving Sinclair's quarters.

_Why did you let him convince you to come here?_

Looking down the hall, she saw Rick coming out of his quarters, turned and walked away from where she was. She knew he had not seen her.

_Should I call him? No, maybe this is for the best. _

On that thought, Lisa Hayes turned and started walking back to where she'd come from.

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Rick knew he was an idiot to pin after Lisa like a love sick teenager.

_How many times is she going to throw your heart on the ground and stomp on it before you get it, Hunter? The woman doesn't care about you! Get that through your thick skull!_

The memory of seeing Lisa in another man's arm still had him seeing red. And he cursed her, again. He was angry, no, he was more than angry, he was seething. And he had a sudden need to hit someone.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

"You're killing that poor thing and it can't even defend itself," Roy said as he came next to Rick. "What's the matter with you?"

Rick's senses did not function; he could neither see nor hear for he was busy hitting the face of the man who was holding Lisa in the elevator.

"Rick!"

When Rick finally stopped hitting the punching bag, his face was dark with anger and pain.

"Go away, Roy," Rick swore loudly. "Can't a man have some punching time in peace without you hovering around like a mother hen?"

"Then act like a man, Rick! Dixon did not deserve that dressing down you gave him in front of the squadron earlier. He was just blowing off steam, trying to laugh off the battle with humor and jokes. I don't need to remind you how dangerous and short a pilot's life is."

Rick blinked back tears of frustration. "You said she wasn't…" he began then stopped when he saw Roy's look of fatherly disapproval. "Forget it! You wouldn't understand anyway."

Taking off his boxing glove, he shoved it at Roy and began walking towards the shower room.

"What?" Roy asked after him but Rick did not turn back or explain further and Roy let him go.

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"Hey, what's the matter? Are you hurt?" Rick asked with caution as he approached the girl whom he recognized as Minmei.

She didn't answer but kept crying as if she hadn't heard him.

"Hey!" he said sharply this time. "Are you hurt?"

"No. Yes… please go away," she finally said between tears and sobs as she tired to hide her face away from him.

"Look, it you're hurt, I can help. Do you need a doctor?"

"No! You can't help me. Nobody can help—" she broke off when she looked up and recognized him. "You're him, aren't you? You're Commander Fokker's friend. Did he send you after me?"

"What?" Confused now, Rick sat down next to her on the bench. "I just came out for a walk and heard you crying."

"Oh," Minmei sighed with hopelessness and Rick couldn't help noticing the sadness in her blue eyes—beautiful eyes, he thought and took another look at her again.

"Would you like me to leave? I didn't mean to intrude," Rick quickly said when she made eye contact with him. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't seriously hurt."

"No. Please stay. I don't want to be alone."

Reaching into his pocket, he handed Minmei his handkerchief. "Okay. I guess I could stay, that's if you really don't mind?"

"Rick, that's your name right?" Minmei asked as she dried her eyes.

"Yes. My name is Rick Hunter and we've met a couple of times but I—"

"I heard he has a girlfriend," Minmei said, cutting Rick off.

"I told myself that I didn't care but I do. When I saw them shopping together at the mall yesterday, I cried because he looked at her like she was amazing. She is pretty and all but I didn't think she's that amazing. Anyway today I went to see him and I asked him if he was in love with her. He snapped at me and told me to mind my own business."

"HE, as in Commander Fokker?"

"Of course! Who did you think I mean? Why are boys so dumb?"

Not waiting for Rick to reply, she continued.

"I love him, you know? I do! I love him! I love him! He's my hero. I've loved him the moment I met him. I told him so and he told me that I was just a silly school girl. He hurt me. He hurt me so much with is mean words and he doesn't even care that he's breaking my heart…"

And she began crying all over again now in earnest.

"Hey, I don't think Roy meant it like that. Maybe you just caught him in a bad time. Besides, don't you think he's a bit old for you? I mean..."

"What!?" Minmei turned and stared at him, her eyes blazing with anger. "You're just as mean as him! I'm not too young to know what love is! You're stupid! Just like him! Get away from me! Go before I start screaming."

Surprised by her anger and confused as to what he'd said that was wrong, Rick quickly got up and was going to leave when he stopped himself.

"Hey! I'm not the one who is crying his eyes out. I'm not the one who is pissed off at the world because she is too blind to see what is right in front of her! I'm not the one who is so angry at himself for being so stupid as to fall for someone who is way beyond his reach! And why are you laughing at me, Minmei?"

"Because… you're funny," Minmei said quietly and giggled.

"Funny?"

"Yes. We're funny, the both of us, because it's obvious we're in love with people who doesn't even know that we exist. Who is she?"

"Who is she?"

"Yes! Who is she? The girl you're in love with, dummy?" Minmei asked frustrated now by Rick's lack of comprehension.

"Oh, you mean, Lisa?"

"Lisa. Lisa, who? Do I know her? Come on now, tell me, don't stop. You know who I'm in love with so why can't I know who you're in love with?"

"Because it's none of your business!" Rick said, a bit rough and curt.

"Fine! Go and cry in your room all by yourself for all I care. I'm not the one who minutes ago, was yelling for the world to hear that he's miserable, lonely, unloved and pissed," Minmei said with righteousness.

"I was not yelling."

"Yes, you were."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Stop!" Rick said and resigned himself to sitting back down on the bench.

"For your information, Miss Nosey, her name is Lisa Hayes," Rick said after a long pause. "She's my CO and she's driving me crazy because she's too stupid to notice that I'm nuts about her. Two days ago, I caught her making out with another man in the elevator."

"Oh Rick, I'm so sorry. No wonder you were yelling," Minmei said as she scooted closer to him. "At least I knew Commander Fokker has a girlfriend from the beginning so I was kind of prepared. But you, I bet you just got whammed in the head with that one— and in the elevator of all places. That's just tacky!"

"It wasn't quiet like that," Rick said looking at his feet. "I think they were just hugging each other but it still hurt."

"Yea, I know what you mean…" Minmei sighed and hung her head down.

"Look, Minmei, I'm sure Roy didn't mean to hurt you. He's not a mean person, in fact he's one of the most—"

"It doesn't matter if he meant it or not. He broke my heart and I don't think I'll ever love again. It hurts too much," Minmei said and crossed her arms around herself.

"She's so lucky to have him. I wish I was her."

Rick smiled, remembering Claudia's reaction to Minmei's dedication at the Valentine's Dance.

"I think they do know how lucky they are to have each other. I've never known Roy to keep a girl around this long before, usually two weeks is his record--"

"You're not helping, Rick!"

"Sorry."

Turning Minmei gave him a tentative smile. "It's okay... It's just that he's so HOT! Perfect and wonderful! I don't know if I'll ever find anyone like him. Thank you, thought, for listening to me, Rick. I don't have very many friends…"

"You're kidding me, right? I always see you being surrounded by people and they seem to love you."

Minmei smile brightly now and her eyes sparkled. "Really, I didn't know you pay any attention to me."

"Well… I don't, not really, not that you're not pretty. You are! It's just that Lisa has gotten me so wrapped up… I don't know! God! I hate this feeling!"

Running a hand through his hair, Rick got up. "I hate being left out. Like I don't matter and sometimes I hate her. I hate her for being so in control like nothing bothers her or nothing touches her at all!"

"Hey, you're yelling again."

Taking a deep breath, Rick closed his eyes and slowly counts to ten before walking back to Minmei.

"I mean it, Minmei. Everyone needs a friend sometime and I'll be honor to have you consider me as one of yours"

"That goes for you too, Rick Hunter."

They grinned at each other and laughed.

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So here she was-- alone in Rick's quarters, nervous, anxious, excited, happy and feeling stupid for feeling this way.

She was alone because when she'd gotten to his door and would have knocked, he opened it as if expecting company. She could see the surprised in his eyes but he quickly recovered and told her that he had to drop off something for Roy. But before he dashed off he'd asked her to wait for him in his quarters.

Taking a deep breath, Lisa gave 'thanks' to God for giving her some time to collect her thoughts before she had to face Rick again. She'd thought she was prepared but seeing him again face to face had an unsettling effect on her.

_Why him?_ She asked herself and finding no answer, sighed in defeat.

Looking around, a slim leather portfolio underneath a photo album on the coffee table caught her eyes and she walked toward it.

Lisa knew she shouldn't but she couldn't help herself. Moving the photo album aside, she opened the portfolio and saw an exquisite charcoal sketch. It was a woman in profile with one shoulder bared, a cascade of hair framing the unmistakably familiar face.

Lisa inhaled sharply. It was the same face she saw looking back at her in the mirror each day.

"Sorry about the delay, Lisa," Rick said as he walked in. "Roy is such a perfectionist. He had me working on this briefing all afternoon and just when I thought I was done, he told me to rewrite it again."

Lisa looked away as she hastily closed the portfolio, her cheeks aflame. Her stomach felt as if it had dropped to her knees.

"I… I came to give you the flight plan for tomorrow's mission. It's changed since you last received it this morning. You know how these secret missions are… I think that's the reason why Roy wanted you to redo the briefing."

"Oh, right. Thanks." Rick reached for the disk Lisa was holding and she handed it to him.

_Had it truly been a drawing of her?_ She couldn't stop the words that issued forth. "The sketch, Rick, it's beautiful. Did you... is it yours?"

Caught off guard by Lisa's question, Rick gazed over her shoulder at the portfolio underneath his photo album before turning back to face her.

"Yes," he said, looking at her squarely in the eye.

"I had no idea you were an artist, Rick."

He hesitated briefly before speaking. "I dabble. There's a difference."

Lisa was fascinated. Rick simply didn't strike her as the artistic type. "I'd love to see more of your drawings."

"No, I've never— I'm sorry. I've never shared them with anyone before and…"

"I understand," Lisa said quickly and wished she'd kept her mouth shut. It was obvious that Rick wanted to keep his sensitive side a secret.

"There's another reason why I'm here, Rick. Last week, what you saw, I wanted you to know that…"

"Yes, go on," Rick said, his heart soared with hope.

"I've known Daniel forever and for the longest time I was told that he'd died. So you can imagine my shock and happiness in seeing him—"

"Yes, it was obvious that you were really happy to see him. I've never seen you so expressive." Rick's tone was cold, accusing and he moved away from her, putting some distance between them.

He would never understand this maddening woman. She broke down his defenses, drew him into her web of warmth and easy camaraderie, and then, once he was there in her clutches, turned on him with inexplicable ire. He wished she would leave now for he did not want to hear her "let's just be friends" speech.

"Yes, I am. Shouldn't I?" Lisa shook her head in confusion.

"Thank you for the updates, Command Hayes," Rick said and sat back down on his desk. "I'm happy for you and Sinclair, I really am. But if you'd excused me, I do have a briefing to rewrite."

"What's the matter with you, Rick? Why are you acting like this? Why have you been ignoring me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Commander. I see and talk to you everyday on the tac--"

Lisa's chin, which she had thrust in the air so defiantly when Rick had literally dismissed her, began to tremble and treacherous tears threatened her eyes. She knew she had to leave now and without another word to Rick, turned and fled.

At the closing of his door, guilt and frustration washed over him and he got up. _What in God's name had he done? He hadn't meant to make her cry._

Rick stood there indecisively for a moment, and then followed the direction Lisa had taken.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTEN ELEVEN**

Just as she reached the end of the hallway, Lisa was startled by the sound of footsteps following her. She whirled around to confront him.

"Lisa, wait," Rick called out as he reached for her hand.

She roughly pulled her hand from his grasp. "Don't touch me," she hissed, her heart pounding erratically.

"I'm sorry, Lisa," he said and reached for her hand again. "Please believe me, I never meant to hurt you."

Lisa could barely breathe. "I said don't touch me," she spat out, unable to stop her voice from quavering. "And don't call me Lisa. I am 'Commander Hayes' to you."

"Ouch," Rick said and dropped his out-stretched hand to his side. He knew she was angry but the change that had come over her surprised him.

"What have I done to offend you, Lieutenant?" Lisa asked her voice full of confusion and desperation.

"Nothing. Nothing at all, Lisa," Rick said, angry now too and longed to shake some senses into her. "That's what is offending me. Are you so blind that you don't see how much I care about you? You infuriate me. You compel and repel me at the same time. Don't you get it! I'm in love with you."

A sob tore through her. "Liar," she cried.

Rick looked at her, as if he struggled with some great problem. "I don't understand—"

It took Lisa a moment to recover herself. Her teeth were clamped together when she spoke. "Love! How dare you insult me?"

"Insult you?" Rick asked, bewildered.

"Yes! Insult me! Do you believe me to be so naive? I saw you! You were very cozy with Roy's little songbird yesterday at the theatre. Do you tell every woman you meet that you're in love with her, Lieutenant? Is that how you get them to drool all over you?"

Stunned, Rick could only stare at her.

"What? You have no more to say? Did I hurt your feelings?" Lisa demanded harshly.

She was primed for a fight. She'd let him see her vulnerability, and she knew that if he gave her an ounce of sympathy or was the least bit compassionate, she would lose it. She'd either pull his hair out or her own. Worse she might cry.

Her words hurt and he was crying inside, but refused to show it.

"Minmei and I are friends, nothing more. You don't know what it is to live without love. You have given yours, and I have no chance for it"

Hearing the longing and sadness in Rick's voice made her sick and Lisa regretted her hateful words immediately but the damage was done. She could feel the gulf widened between them and she felt trapped, helpless to stop it.

"Commander Hayes, are you joining us for dinner, too?" An excited voice asked out of the blue and they quickly turned to see Max and Ben coming toward them. "That's terrific! Boy, am I hungry!"

Rick groaned in sheer mortification over Ben's question. Between Roy's perfectionist and Lisa's accusation he'd forgotten all about his dinner plans with Max and Ben.

"No. I couldn't. I just came--"

"Off course you can," Max interjected. "Your company would give us great pleasure. The skipper made the reservation so I don't know where we're going but all I know is he's paying."

Lisa was starting to look panicked. "No, I couldn't intrude."

"Don't be ridiculous, Lisa. I insist," Rick said and without appearing stupid, Lisa nodded her assent.

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Their hands collided over the basket of bread halfway through dinner and Rick felt the tingled as if a spark had passed from her fingers to his. He knew she'd felt it too for their eyes had met for a brief second and he'd seen it in her eyes.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you," he heard Lisa saying to Ben. He told himself to stop looking at her lovely mouth and focused on the conversation at hand.

"Lieutenant, make her answer," Ben said between bites of his filet mignon and mash potato. "I mean I tell you guys everything about me," he continued and took a big gulp of his beer before attacking his stake again.

"Ben's right. We do know everything about him--" Max said.

"Even the size of my underwear!" Ben interjected and both Rick and Max groan in horror simultaneously.

"Don't tell me. I don't want to know," Lisa quickly said and covered her ear.

"I will yell it out to everyone here if you don't tell us, Commander Hayes," Ben demanded with a big mischief grin.

Lisa turned and narrowed her eyes at Rick but he seemed immune to her gaze. He just sat there staring at her, one corner of his mouth curved slightly, as if he was amused.

"You've got to be kidding, Corporal Dixon. This is not fair," Lisa protested and shot Rick another withering look.

"Fair is fair, Commander Hayes," Max began. "We told you about our wild days so now it's your turn to tell us about yours."

"The story of my wild and rebellious days is staying a secret," Lisa said with a firm nod and with renewed appetite, she plowed into the fish and rice on her plate. "And it doesn't matter how many beers you guys buy for me. My mouth is zipped."

"Come on, Lisa, don't be a prude," Rick said with a teasing note in his voice. "How about a compromise? For example, Ben had his ears pierced; Max dyed his hair blue and found that he loved the color so he kept it..."

"I have a tattoo," Lisa blurted without letting Rick finish.

"I knew it!" Ben exclaimed while Max just sat there, shocked, his fork with a mouthful of his salad suspended in mid-air.

Rick's dark eyebrows lifted and his expression was one of fascinated disbelief. "What is it? _Where_ is it?"

"It's a purple-and-black butterfly." A spark of mischief ignited inside her and Lisa let a slow, inviting smile spread across her face. "But you'll have to find it yourself."

"It might require a very thorough search." The melodic timbre of his voice turned his statement into a promise and sent her pulse into overdrive. Sensual awareness leaped between them as Rick let his eyes travel slowly over her body, as if searching for her tattoo.

"Are you two flirting with each other, again? Hello! We're still here," Ben said with pretend annoyance and disgust.

Lisa blushed while Rick only shrugged one broad shoulder, as if making light of the situation, but the intensity of his expression gave him away.

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As they were getting into the taxi, Max suddenly announced that he and Ben had promised to meet a girl they'd met earlier that week at a local pub, and pulling a confused Ben with him, quickly disappeared.

Lisa didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing to be left alone with Rick especially with how things had ended between them before dinner.

As much as she liked him and enjoyed his company, he's a distraction-- temptation she knew better than to indulge. Since meeting him, he had made her laughed, cried and regret choices she'd made in her life. Constantly he confused her and energized her. He scared her to death with his declaration of affection and longings yet it's this very thing that challenged her to hope and dream.

Coming out of her thoughts, she noticed the somber expression on Rick's face and wondered what he was thinking about.

"We need to talk," he said and turned towards her.

His tone of voice indicated it was serious. Lisa groaned and dropped her chin. "Don't get all serious on me. We've had enough depressing discussions for one day."

Rick reached over to take her hand. "I have to consider what happened earlier, Lisa. Believe me, I never meant to hurt you. Minmei is just a friend. She's crazy about Roy. She has this idea in her head that she's in love with him. I caught a movie with her just to cheer her up. I mean, come on… what girl can compete with Claudia for Roy's…"

She leaned forward, pleased when his eyes glanced down at her cleavage and lost his train of thought. "I thought we settled the issue already, Rick."

"This is important, Lisa," he said and hesitated, as though weighing his next words. "I care about you. I really really like you, a lot. I mean, I'm crazy about you. I think you're hot. Super smart, classy and I know you like me. I want us to get to know each other better. I want to see you."

"As in dating?" Lisa asked and pulled her hand away.

Rick kept his tone even. "Yes."

Lisa felt limp and giddy. She wanted to laugh and cry, and kiss Rick. Oh, she really wanted to kiss him, and a whole lot more. What was wrong with her? Mentally she shook herself.

"I'm attracted to you. _That_ I will not deny, Rick..."

"Gee, Lisa, try not to be so excited."

"All I'm saying, Rick, is with forced proximity, relationships that normally take years to develop can happen in a matter of days. I don't want to make the mistake-- neither of us should be rushing into something we might regret."

His gaze caught her eyes. And he saw the truth: fear. Lisa Hayes was scared to death of love. He knew she was ending things before they'd even started and something twisted inside him at the thought of her being open to them having a physical relationship but nothing else.

"What I feel for you is not going to disappear in a couple of weeks or years, Lisa. I may not have the same kind of history with you as you had with Riber... and now with Sinclair--"

"Daniel was Riber's best friend, Rick. I do love him--"

"Lisa, all I'm asking is for you to give me-- us a chance," Rick injected, not wanting to hear Lisa's declaration of love for another man.

"Don't you see," he continued, desperate now. "The mistake is us not pursuing this thing between us. The mistake is me letting you go because it's the right thing to do. The mistake is me pretending--"

"Stop," she said and moved in closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder. "Okay."

"Okay what?" he asked.

Smiling gently, she cupped the side of his face and pulled him closer. He was becoming impossible to resist.

Rick's eyes drifted shut when their breath mingled the second before her mouth claimed him. Her kiss was both a slow exploration and a tantalizing challenge. He followed the pace she set as he traced the contours of her mouth with his tongue.

"Your stop! That will be ten credits."

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"Thanks for coming to dinner with us, Lisa," Rick said as her door opened. "It was..."

She saw him and knew he was talking to her but she couldn't hear him. Her mind was wondering and then circling around and round what he'd said to her in the taxi. Maybe if she stopped looking at him, she could think about something else. It had been such a long time since she'd been intimate with a man, and she though she'd become an expert at blocking those thoughts and urges.

She had been an expert anyway, until he came into her life. Now the floodgates were wide open, and all she could think about was touching him-- kissing him.

"Lisa?"

"Yes."

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

_Sex, damn it. _

_I'm thinking about sex._

"Nothing much. Just that I have to be in early tomorrow to go over the mission plans with the Captain again. Would you like to come in, Rick?"

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"Claudia gave me a box last week. I know I have it here..." Lisa said, trying to remain calm as she searched her cupboards for the tea box. She was blathering like an idiot, she knew, and he was not helping at all. He just stood there, casually against the wall watching her.

Watching Lisa pace around her kitchen, Rick wondered if she knew what she was doing when she'd invited him in. He hoped so for this was where he'd wanted to be since meeting her.

"Lisa, just what is there between you and Sinclair?"

"Whatever do you mean?" Lisa knitted her brow in confusion and stopped what she was doing.

"You know exactly what I mean. What is there between you?" Rick asked again and came towards her.

"Noth…nothing! He's a friend, a very good friend."

"Are you lovers?"

Lisa stared back at him, eyes wide, trying to force her brain past the shock of Rick being jealous of Sinclair.

"No! Of course we're not lovers! Are you crazy? I've been trying to tell you that ever since the day he came on board the SDF-1. Daniel's like a brother to me…nothing more..."

He was inches away from her now, his arms on either side of her, trapping her in. He was going to kiss her; Lisa knew he was for she could see it in his eyes. She wondered if his body was as hot as his gaze and she knew if he kissed her, he would not leave her place until tomorrow.

"Not so fast, Hunter."

"What?" he warily asked.

"There are a couple of ground rules we need to go over first."

She wasn't kidding. He would have laughed if she hadn't looked so serious and nervous. "Ground rules? Like no hitting below the belt? That kind of rule?"

When Lisa didn't immediately answer, he asked, "Are we going to box, or are you going to let me--"

"No light, okay?"

"What? Okay. But I don't see why, you're beautiful, Lisa." He leaned in closer to her.

"I'm not finished."

He grinned. "Okay, what else?"

"You have to use protection. It's not that I don't want children, I do want your..."

"I planned on using protection," He said when she stammered to a halt.

"You planned?"

He pulled the condom out of his pocket. "Anything else?"

"That was pretty presumptuous of you, Rick."

"Lisa, if I don't touch you pretty soon, I'm gonna go nuts."

Her heart was racing. "If you're disappointed..."

"I won't be."

"But if you are, keep it to yourself. Don't complain to me."

When he didn't answer she continued. "I'm serious, Rick. Do you agree?"

He'd waited for as long as he could. "Now it's my turn," he said as he put his arms around her waist and pulled her to him. She didn't stop him when he leaned down and kissed the side of her neck just below her ear.

"Listen carefully, Lisa. I've got some ground rules too."

"Okay," she said and lifted her head to stare into his beautiful Texas bluebonnet eyes.

"Do you trust me?"

"That's not a rule."

He wouldn't let her dodge the question, and when she tired to distract him by kissing him, he shook his head. "I already know the answer, but I want... no, I need to hear you say the words, Lisa."

"You are the most opinionated, stubborn, exasperating man I've ever know, but almost from the moment we met, I felt this strange connection. It's as thought I've waited all my life to feel so safe... and free. I can't explain it," she whispered.

"You make me want to smile," he whispered back. "Even as stubborn as you can be, you make me want to smile. Do you know how beautiful you are to me and how much I do love you?"

"Stop saying things like that to me. It's not fair, Rick," Lisa snapped.

"Trust me, Lisa," he said as he brushed his mouth over hers. "That's my rule. You have to trust me. And kiss me; kiss me like you did that very first time."

Her gaze locked with his, seeing the hunger, the aching, soul-deep need he'd kept hidden from the world but her. Of course she'd understood what he was asking. And he was right. Love and trust went hand in hand. It was now or never.

Before he could say more she roughly pulled him to her and kissed him. It was a kiss unlike she'd ever given to anyone before. And one Rick Hunter would remember till the day he died for his knees damned nearly buckled. Her tongue had slid in and out of his mouth in a ritual of lovemaking until he could have sworn he saw shooting stars.

They were both panting for breath when she ended the kiss and stepped back. Without a word, Lisa took off her top and let it drop to the floor, staring into his eyes, reveling in the passion she saw there.

"You're like summer rain and sunshine, Lisa, heating me, reminding me of life, of living," Rick whispered shakily.

Rick's words shook her to her core. And her heart melted.

He followed her to her bedroom and, the way he looked at her made her feel bold, beautiful and wanted. She forgot all about the light. And when he demanded that she kissed him again like he was the breath she needed to live she did.

It was wildfire.

It was destructive.

It was unlike anything she could have imagined.

It was home.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

"You have beautiful hair," he murmured, his hand smoothed over her hair, his fingers tangling in the soft strands as he relished the feel of her lying against him. She was warm. She was sweet and everything he'd ever wanted.

_And she liked him!_

He knew she felt at least some affection for him, though perhaps not as much as he felt for her. Hell, he'd fallen in love with her the day he met her. He had known it was love. Known the possessiveness, the joy, the sheer delight he found in her could be nothing else. He wanted to hold her forever but he knew, realistically, it wasn't possible. He could only hold her for now and see how she reacted when she awakened.

And that part terrified him.

_Would she hate him?_

He could never tell with her. She was as predictable as the wind.

_It's real!_

Lisa mused to herself. She'd never felt this happy or free and her heart thudded against her ribcage like it wanted to get out.

She sighed against his chest, a soft little sound that clenched his heart as her hand smoothed over his chest and then back again. He stilled, his breath nearly suspending as she repeated the action, her body tensing.

"What happened to you?" Her fingers picked up the nearly invisible line of scars that criss-crossed his chest.

"Flying accident."

"What kind of flying accident?" She leaned up enough to open drowsy eyes, though her gaze was as sharp as ever. "Don't be a smart aleck."

He was willing to bet she drove her father insane. She was too curious, too independent, and too set on having the answers she demanded.

"I was pretty young when it happened. I'd just learned how to fly and was showing off."

"How come I'm not surprised?" She snorted at him, a completely unladylike sound that surprised the heck out of him.

A beep suddenly caught both of their attention.

Who could that be?" Rick asked, annoyed.

"Ohmigod! Ohmigod!" Lisa screamed and scamper out of bed like the devil was after her. "I'm dead, do you hear me? D.E.A.D! How could this have happened?"

Picking up her receiver she took a deep breath before answering. "Commander Hayes speaking. Yes. Be right there, sir. Yes sir. No sir. Thank you, Captain."

After placing the receiver she turned to Rick. "Come on! Don't just lay there, get your clothes on, we're late! Damned it! I need a shower and god, my hair is a mess."

"Calm down, Lisa. What's the big rush? It's not like we're under attack...

"Hello! Secret Mission?" Lisa replied and quickly disappeared into the lavatory.

Now it was Rick's turn to panic.

"Shit! Roy's going to kill me!" he yelled and jumped out of bed, and quickly fell flat on his face.

Rick found himself lying on the floor; annoyed he turned and saw that Lisa's panty, pale pink satin trimmed in lace was caught on his right foot.

_Who would have believed that tough, ice queen Commander Hayes adores satin and lace undies underneath her perfectly starched uniform?_

Rick laughed then and felt as if everything was right in the world. Being chewed out by Roy didn't seem so bad anymore.

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Claudia was shocked and pleased to note that Lisa's appearance was greatly altered as she came onto the bridge.

Her eyes were brighter, her skin more radiant, her hair more lustrous and ... _still damp?_ Claudia blinked as if doubting her sight and looked at Lisa again.

_My god! _

_She's glowing and there's an aura of... of joy about her._

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"Is there something wrong, Lisa?" Captain Gloval asked, not looking up from the plans he had in front of him as she walked in.

"No, Captain. I apologize for being late, sir. It will not happen again."

Gloval looked up now and studied her. He zoomed in on her face, noting her bright eyes-- confident and determined.

Lisa knew she had to stay cool and detached under the scrutiny.

"Any changes?"

"None, sir."

"Good. We'll move the mission to tomorrow at 0600. I want you ready, suit-up and on standby for launch. The timing has to be perfect, Lisa or..."

"Captain, I am ready--"

"That's my decision, Lisa." Gloval said to her and took his pipe out of his pocket.

"I understand, sir," Lisa replied and turned to leave.

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"Stop, Lisa!"

"Go away, Rick! Damned it! I can't believe it that I screwed up like that. I told you! I told you that I didn't have time for distraction but obviously, "no" is not a word in your vocabulary. Are you happy now?"

"You invited me in," he reminded her. "And I'm not leaving, not now, not ever."

His response only fanned the flames of the anger brimming inside her.

"You're crazy, Rick!"

"It's not the first time I've heard that accusation," he assured her, his expression confident and sure.

Lisa had to fight to keep her foot on the floor instead of slamming it into his handsome face.

"You are a pain in the ass!" she snapped and whirled around to give the punching bag a hard round-about-kick.

"No, Lisa. I promise, not just any ass will do. Only yours."

She was right, Rick admitted as he watched her expression turn from anger to shock, he was crazy. He should be running from her instead he was standing here, watching the flames of anger simmer in her eyes and the anger she'd been bottling up since her meeting with the Captain rise to the surface.

"Do you know what I really hate about pilots?" Lisa snarled, eyes narrowing, a little quiver of anger working over her body.

"We're tough and we don't give up?" Rick said and arched a brow mockingly.

"No! You're always so damned egotistical. You think the whole freakin' world revolves around you! Well I got news for you, I don't need you!"

"You need me alright, Lisa. You just don't know it..."

"You're not a nice man, Rick."

"No," he agreed calmly. "I never pretended to be."

"It shouldn't have been you," she sighed, looking both emotionally defenseless and a little disgruntled.

"I'm out of my depth with you. I'm a grown woman forgodsake!"

Lisa turned her back to him then and sat down on the mat.

"Whether you want me or not, you got me so deal with it. I'm not easy to get rid of," Rick said and sat down next to her as he watched the play of emotions across her face.

"My life is ruined," Lisa wailed after a while.

"Don't be so dramatic, Lisa."

"Easy for you to say, Hotshot! You didn't have the Captain giving you his "I'm disappointed in you" look this morning. I let him down, Rick."

"Lisa, you're one of the most trusted and admired officer of the SDF-1. You're brilliant, calm and confident without being arrogant. You know what you're doing and--"

"Cold," Lisa said, finishing his sentence.

"Beautiful. Focused. Loyal. Amazingly funny and hot," Rick finished without commenting on Lisa's negativity. "Do you know that I turn to oatmeal just thinking about you?"

"That's not fair," she whispered urgently, standing up, she turned toward the women's locker room. "Why do you turn everything into sex?"

Standing up with her, Rick spread his hands out innocently. "I'm just talking to you. Sex came out of your mouth, not mine."

She frowned darkly. He frowned right back at her.

"I know what you're doing. You're trying to provoke me into kicking you in the face," she informed him imperiously. "But it's not going to work. It was just sex, Rick".

He laughed and his blue eyes sparkled with a brazenness few men could manage successfully. He managed it exceedingly well. "Really?"

An enigmatic smile tilted his lips and she knew he was up to no good but before she could say anything, his head dipped down and he kissed her. A real kiss. A lip-sliding, mouth-open, tongue-tasting kiss that had them both painting and wide-eyed.

_I love you, Lisa._

He wanted to say but he knew she didn't want to hear it so instead he said, "I've been wanting to do that all day. I missed you."

"Oh," she said, looking up at him and feeling a bit dizzy. Lisa had never viewed herself as one of those weak-kneed females who could be overcome by a man in a single glance, by a single kiss. But she was overwhelmed by him.

"Do you.... do you know what my part is in this mission, Rick?"

"No. There was no mentioning of it in the briefing and you know how closed mouth Roy can be."

"I'm leaving the SDF-1, Rick."

"Say that again?"

"My mission is to convince my father and the Council to give the civilians on board the SDF-1 a place to live. They didn't ask to be in this situation, Rick. They have been very patience with us but when they find out tomorrow what their future is going to be, there's going to be panic and a lot of angry people. That's where I come in, I'm plan B. I'm their alternative. If I fail to convince the Council..."

"You're the VIP Package Skull Squadron is secretly escorting off the SDF-1's re entry route?"

"Yes."

"I don't--"

"My father will not let me return once I'm off the SDF-1."

"Then don't go. Send someone esle-- Claudia or that, what's his name, your friend, like a brother to you?"

"Daniel?"

"Yea, him. Have the Captain send him."

"You don't understand, Rick. It's got to be me."

Upon reaching the women's locker room, Lisa went in, leaving Rick standing outside.

"Aren't you tired of being a coward, Lisa?" Rick said as he followed her in.

Lisa whirled around, shocked at Rick's audacity yet at the same time angry over his accusation. "Me? A coward?" An imperious thumb pointed into her chest. "I'm a realist, Rick. Unlike you, I prefer to see the truth rather than the pretty lies you want to feed me."

Rick crossed his arms over his chest, slowly. "When, Lisa, did I ever lie to you?"

"Every time you touch me," she yelled back. "You want it all, don't you?"

"Yes!" He snapped, facing her squarely now. "I told you from the beginning that I wanted you—your heart, your soul and forever. You were the one who kept running, who kept refusing to face facts. You're the liar, Lisa, not me."

"I never lied to you." Her hands swiped through her hair, frustration and pain evident on her face. "I told you from the beginning that I can't give you the kind of relationship you want from me."

"I don't want just a damned relationship with you, Lisa. I want forever."

Lisa stared at him wide-eyes.

"No..."

"Yes, forever, Lisa," he bit out.

"I want you to leave." Her voice was rough, ragged with emotion. "I don't want to see you again, Rick."

He said nothing.

Lisa forced herself to meet his eyes and was agonized by the emotions she saw there. But there it was. Anger. Respect. Desire-- all of it focusing on her as if she was the whole world_. _

_His whole world._

"Don't ... Rick. I can't—I'm sorry."

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Her tears were falling freely now, practically blinding her as she knocked on his door.

"Lisa," he said and reached into one of the pocket of his uniform and produced a handkerchief. She took it and blew her nose.

"Oh, Daniel, what shall I do? He wants forever… I can't. I don't know how?"

"Do you love him?" Daniel asked bluntly as he pulled her inside and the door closed behind them.

The words fell against her like a weight.

_Did she love him?_

"I think I'm in love with him, Daniel, almost from the moment his hand touched mine. There is something about him. Something different and wonderful, something inside of him that calls to me but..."

"But what?"

"I don't know. Honestly I don't know." Fresh tears formed in the corners of her eyes and began to course down her cheeks.

"Yes you do, Lisa," he said flatly.

Looking into his eyes, she shook her head. She didn't want to hear this. It wasn't true. It was just sex, and it was that simple.

"You hide, Lisa. Take for example, your dowdy clothes when you're not in uniform. Your hair. Your attitude. It keeps everyone at a distance. It shouts _Go Away_. But he didn't go away."

"No, he didn't," she finally whispered and looked at herself, really looked at herself. Daniel's frank argument has made her remember the few clothing she owed that made her feel alive. The ones she longed to dress in, the ones that fit the makeup she preferred, the heels she loved.

And she was reminded each time she "dressed up" that she was alone. There was no one to see her because she had always been safer alone. She couldn't be broken again if no one knew her well enough to break her.

Until now.

Until Rick.

"I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life, Daniel."

"Lisa, please don't cry," Daniel said and wiping away a tear with his thumb. "If you love him—truly love him then tell him. Don't let guilt and fear rule your thoughts and actions. Riber would understand. He would want you to move on. Life is for the living. Don't ever forget that. You're… you're like a sister to me, and I only want to see you happy. If Hunter makes you happy, then go after him."

She reached her arms around his neck, burying her head in his jacket. "Thank you, Daniel, for everything." She pulled away and looked up into his handsome face. "I adore you, you know," she said, and planted a chaste kiss on his lips.

"I know you do. Now, come and sit, I'll make you a cup of tea," he said and smiled but his smile never reached his eyes..

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She knew he would not ask her to meet him here again without it being special and her heartbeat quickened.

A glanced at the mirror wall told her she looked good—hot even and sexy as hell. Truth be told, she'd dressed for him knowing how much he appreciated the latest fashion.

The 5 star Orchid Hotel held only happy memories for her. It was here that Roy had first proposed they commit to a steady relationship almost two years ago.

"Ms. Grant, good to have you with us again."

The dressed maitre d' known as Mr. Smith, bowed, and then escorted her through the dining room. "Your usual table?"

She nodded and smiled. "Commander Fokker will be joining me as soon as his business is complete. I expect him any moment."

The maitre d' beamed as he escorted her to their special table and seated her.

"Thank you, Mr. Smith."

"Something to refresh you while you wait?"

"Champagne."

"Of course. Henry!" he snapped his fingers at the nearest waiter. "Champagne for Ms. Grant."

Thanking the waiter a couple of minutes later, Claudia took a deep breath before taking a sip of the chilled champagne. Looking at her watch, she wondered what was keeping Roy.

"Excuse me, miss, for disturbing you, but I believe the maitre d' has made an error."

Claudia glanced over the rim of her champagne glass to see a dashing officer in his dress blues. He was well over six feet tall, lithe and muscular, with a head of shocking blond hair, too long to be accepted in polite society or in the service.

"An error? What sort of error, sir?"

"I believe Mr. Smith has inadvertently given you my table."

Setting down her champagne flute, Claudia challenged back. "I believe it's you who is in error, as this is my table."

He sighed. "No. I assure you, madam, this is my table."

"Well, what are we to do? As you can see, I'm already seated and there are rules--."

"I see no other choice but for us to share the table." Before she could utter another word, he'd pulled out the chair across from her and sat down.

"No. You can't." Claudia protested and her amber eyes lit with shocked and annoyance. "You see, I await my lover," she finished in a whisper.

He shrugged. "His loss. He should have never left you waiting. Waiter." He motioned to the table. "Another champagne flute."

"I do not recall inviting you to share my champagne," Claudia said and leaned forward to look him in the eyes. "I will report you to your CO for your insolence."

"You could," he said as he accepted the champagne flute from the waiter and arrogantly poured himself a healthy portion. "But I outrank you, so who do you think my CO is going to believe?"

"I must ask you to leave, sir."

He said nothing for a long time, just stared at her then after finishing his glass he smiled enigmatically at her.

"I will leave on one condition; one dance."

"No," she protested as his hand reached out to close over one of hers.

"Just one dance is all I asked."

Claudia tried to struggle but he already had her out of her chair and his arm was already around her waist. And as if on cue, a slow love song began to play.

"Humor me," he whispered, his breath warmed against her ear, sending electric shots through her body.

"I don't want to dance," Claudia murmured but let him lead her to the dance floor anyway.

"You looked so beautiful sitting there alone at the table, so solitary, so vulnerable and yet so confidently sexy that I knew you were waiting for me." Tipping her face to look at him he inhaled her perfume and scent. "God, Claudia, you smell so good."

"And you, flyboy," she chastised, "are late, as usual. I was afraid I got stood up, again."

"Never."

Together they moved to the music, lost in each other's embrace.

"I have a key in my pocket to a suite right here in the hotel," he murmured, brushing his lips across her cheek.

"Dinner… the table… we just can't"

"We can eat later."

"My purse."

"Mr. Smith will bring it up later," he said and practically dragged her of the dance floor, out into the marble lobby and up the carpeted grand staircase. He halted halfway down the long corridor and pushed her up against the wall and kissed her.

When he stopped kissing her, she couldn't speak or think. She just knew she wanted to be with him.

"Hurry, Roy. Get me to that suite of yours or I'm going to start tearing your clothes off right here. Right now!"

The desperation in her voice brought a strange-wonderful tightness to his chest. He smiled and grabbed her by the arm, hurrying down the corridor toward the double doors at the far end.

As they entered the suite, the room glowed with candlelight.

Looking around Claudia saw a bottle of champagne and two crystal flutes rested beside the bed. Next to that was a tray of chocolate covered strawberries.

"You had this all planned!"

"Guilty as charged," Roy lowered his mouth to her throat and pressed a slow kiss to her throbbing pulse. "You deserve this and so much more, Claudia. I'm sorry for so many..."

Throwing her arms around him she drew him into her, holding him tightly in her embrace.

"I didn't think we'll be able to spend anytime together at all this week. I missed you, Roy," she whispered, surprised as emotion welled in her throat and she found she was suddenly near to tears.

"We're together, that's all that matters. I don't care about words, Roy. No regrets... none."

He drew back and gently wiped her single tear with his thumb. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, missed her like crazy whenever he was not with her but the words wouldn't come.

Instead he said, "I'm glad Gloval changed his mind. I've thought of nothing but you all week."

In so many ways, Roy did not understand this incredibly sexy-strong woman who was his girlfriend, the only girl he'd ever wanted to keep for more than a night. But he understood her needs, perhaps because they were so like his own.

Claudia lifted her head and meeting his mouth, her tongue flicker out to brush his. "Really? It would have served you right if I had gone home, you were twenty minutes late."

He grinned wickedly. "Had you left, I'm sure I could have found another woman to take your place."

"You're incorrigible, Roy. I don't know why I put up with you?

"You wouldn't have me in any other way, Claudia. I'm just the way you like me."

"Roy?" she asked her voice raspy with desire.

"Yes."

"Will we make the bed this time?"

He smiled a smile that always left her knees wobbly. "I thought you would never ask."

"Arrogant man," she accused as he caught her around the waist carried her to the four-poster, silk-draped bed.

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"Initiate count down, Claudia," Gloval ordered from his chair. "And launch all fighters."

Claudia did as she was told but her mind drifted back to her good-bye conversation with Roy just before he left to the flight deck.

_"Don't forget sugar, I'll be expecting you to carry me over the threshold," she'd told him and smiled._

_"I'll carry you anywhere," he'd said and instead of giving her his usual mocking salute, he'd grabbed her and kissed her squarely on the lips. _

_"Don't worry, Claudia. This mission will be a walk in the park. I'll be back before you even have time to miss me."_

Watching the dots disappearing from her screen, Claudia sent up a silent pray to keep Roy, Lisa and Skull Squadron safe then focused all of her attention back onto her job.

"Open all channels, Vanessa, it's time to tell the world we're home," Gloval said and stood up, ready to give his speech.

_"Captain Gloval! The enemy! They're here!" _Kim said and turned to look at her best friends—Sammie and Vanessa instead of Captain Gloval. She wondered if she'll ever see them again.


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER THIRTEENTH**

"Captain, I'm detecting a space fold. ETA in one minute!" Kim announced and turned to look at her.

"Where?"

"Right on top of us!"

"Signature?"

"Zentraedi!"

"It can't be!" Sammie, her first officer and air group chief tactical operator interjected. "We haven't seen a Zentraedi since…"

"Scramble all Veritechs, Sammie! No one shoots unless I give the order. Display their space fold location on main screen, Kim. Vanessa, get me Admiral Gloval on my personal comm. Now!"

Out of nowhere, two giant size Zentraedi cruisers appeared on the bridge's main screen.

"Captain, they're hailing us!"

"Main speaker, Vanessa."

"…This is Commander Lisa Hayes. Please respond… Need assistance…"

"Image on screen!" Claudia quickly ordered and stood half way up from her chair. "This is Captain Grant of the SDF2…"

"Claudia?"

She'd never expected to hear that voice again. The air on the bridge seemed to thin and Claudia found breathing difficult.

_It couldn't be_

_Inhale_

_It's not him_

"… Claudia! Is that you?" Roy asked again as his image came into the SDF2's main screen. "I can't see you. Our viewing screen is not working. It was damaged during the last attacked. I can barely make out your voice… "

_That hair…those eyes… Roy? Is it you?_

She heard the intake of breaths from her bridge crew as they recognized him-- Roy Fokker, RDF's most skilled fighter pilot, leader of the famous Skull Squadron and her fiancé… _was_… she reminded herself and slowly sat back down on her chair.

"…God! We made it! Claudia! Can you hear me? I…"

The blood drained from her face, her stomach dropped into her knees and she gripped the arms of the chair so tight her knuckles went into spasm.

_Oh. Dear. God. It is you. Roy!_

Miniscule bumps shivered up her neck. It wasn't possible. Spots danced before her eyes and she prayed she wouldn't pass out.

_You said it was just a walk in the park…_

"…Claudia! If you can hear me? Four Zentraedi cruisers will be dropping in any minute," Lisa said as she pulled Roy out of the mic's range and her image came into focus.

_Lisa… mygod, you're exactly like the last time I saw you…_

"...They're going to emerge shooting. We're defenseless. We used up all of our reserved power to make this hyperspace fold... Claudia!"

"Captain! Four space folds opening up!" Kim said and double checked her controls again to make sure the ship's weapons were operating at full capacity.

"All Veritechs are launched and two companies of Destroids are deployed to standby at every exit and entrance point," Sammie said and turned to look at her. "Captain? Captain Grant!"

"Claudia!" Kim said from her station. "Your orders, Captain?"

"Direct all weapons on the four arriving ships. If they fire, green light to fire everything the SDF-2 got on them," she ordered and moved into action, shaking the shock out of her system.

_Oh, Roy…_

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_"Captain Gloval! The enemy! They're here!" Kim said and turned to look at her best friends—Sammie and Vanessa instead of Captain Gloval. _

_She wondered if she'll ever see them again. They've been though so much together these past two years and she would hate to lose either one of them. She'd come to love them so much. They were more then just her best friends. They were her sisters._

_"Admiral, the SDF-1 is in direct path of the Grand Cannon! There are over twenty thousand civilians onboard." Gloval said as he moved around to get a better view of Admiral Hayes from his chair. "Listen to reason, Donald, you can't kill the whole Zentraedi armada with the Grand Cannon. It's not going to work. All you will be doing is signing Earth's death sentence."_

_"Captain! The Grand Cannon is firing in 10 seconds!"_

_"Claudia!"_

_"Done, Sir. We'll be clear of the Grand Cannon's fire in 8 seconds and I've given order to all our Veritechs to clear out as far as possible."_

_"The counsel warned you, Gloval. We knew this would happen," Admiral Hayes sighed and continued. "It's that blasted ship that they want! If its Earth's death sentence, it's you who signed it by not listening to us," Admiral Hayes finished and Gloval could hear the regret in his voice. "I'm sorry, Henry, I tried…but I have to do my duty now…"_

_"We're clear, Captain--" Claudia announced and was cut short by the awesome blinding three mile-wide laser beam shooting strait from Earth. Its power was immense as its aftershock rocked the SDF-1 like a ship caught in a terrible storm._

_"Status, Sammie," Gloval asked as he straighten his hat which had fallen off during the jarring of the SDF-1._

_"80% of the enemy's fleet has been destroyed, sir. Of the 50 remaining… 7 are dead in the water and…the rest are in perfect condition. They're powering up their cannons! Captain! They're firing upon Earth!"_

_"No!"_

_In total silence of shocked, disbelief and horror, everyone on board the SDF-1 who could see out into space from their view ports or monitor screens saw Earth's destruction. It first light up like the whole world had decided to put on a 4th of July firework then darkness as whole cities are obliterated across the face of the planet._

_On the SDF-1's bridge, the silence was finally broken by someone crying._

_"Launched everything we got on those cruisers, Claudia!" Gloval ordered without hesitation. "Vanessa see if you can re-establish connection with the Alaskan bases, if it's still there."_

_"We haven't heard anything from Operation Life since their initial take off, Captain," Claudia said and tired to look as professional as possible but she could hear her voice breaking. "And their signature has disappeared from our grid as well as ten Zentraedi cruisers…"_

_"I need you here, now, Claudia!" Gloval said as he walked up to her station. "Do you understand?" he continued and stared at her, forcing her to look at him._

_Shaken Claudia nodded and blinked away tears she hadn't noticed were falling._

_"Gloval!" Admiral Hayes said from the SDF-1's main comm. "We have just about enough power for one more fire. But we can't get their position. Our navigational grid is off line…help… us…"_

_Through the static line, everyone on the SDF-1's bridge could hear people screaming, yelling and crying out in pain in the background._

_"… Stand your positions! Anyone not dead, get back to your stations! ...This is a direct order… Prepare to fire! …"_

_"Sammie!" Gloval said without turning around to speak to her._

_"Grid 5, quadrant 12, Sir!"_

_"You hear that, Admiral Hayes? Grid 5, quadrant 12!"_

_"… Fire! I said fire! Fire! …" _

_"Admiral, what's Earth's damaged status?" Gloval asked._

_"…Henry. Tell Lisa…love…"_

_There was only static now as the Grand Canyon's second fire demolished everything in its path. _

_And then silence._

_"The Alaskan Base is gone, Captain. He knew. The Admiral knew that diverting power away from the protective shield to fire again would blow the Grand Canyon's matrix core but he did it anyway…" Vanessa said in a cracked voice yet not taking her eyes of her monitor at all as she reads the Grand Canyon's blueprint. "He also sent everything he had on Earth's military intelligence just before…" and she stopped. _

_Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Gloval turned to Sammie._

_"Status?" he asked in a somber voice._

_"All enemy ships have been destroyed, Captain—every one of them… there's nothing out there except empty space and… debris…"_

_"Open the main comm to the ship, Vanessa. Claudia, find us a suitable landing base. Let's go home… and Claudia, a through search of Operation Life's last signal… "_

_"Yes sir," Claudia replied and turned back to her station to carry out her order. _

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"Fire!" Claudia ordered as she stood up. "Take out each ship at a time, Kim. Target their weapons bay first then their main engine. Don't rush. You're doing fine."

The SDF-2 rocked slightly as it took a direct hit from one of the Zentraedi cruiser's main canon but she stood her ground.

"Shields holding at 98 percent, Captain."

"Good."

"They're launching fighters, Captain," Sammie said. "I've moved Blue, Ghost, Ice and Phoenix Squadrons to intercept. Black and Red Squadrons are on defensive maneuver."

"Good. Green light to all Veritechs to use Point-blank-Shield," Claudia ordered without breaking her eye contact from the main battle in front of her on the SDF-2's main screen.

"Aye, aye, Captain," Sammie answered and quickly relayed her Captain's order to the Veritechs.

"Only one cruisers left, Captain, and she's 75 percent damaged," Kim said excitedly and with real confidence in her voice since the first initial firing.

"Dr. Lang's Point-blank-Shield is working better than expected, Captain, our fighters are holding their own and… winning!" Sammie reported and turned back to her monitor.

"Captain Grant!" Admiral Gloval said as he appeared on Claudia's personal comm at her chair. "Is it true?"

Sitting slowly back down, Claudia took a moment to collect her thoughts before answering. "At first contact, yes, Admiral. It's them!"

"After all this time… reinforcement in 2 minutes, Captain," Gloval said. "No direct contact until I get there."

Claudia nodded and turned her focus back to her bridge.

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"They did it!" Lisa cried and jumped into Rick's arm after Claudia had announced that the four Zentraedi cruisers had been destroyed. "We're home, Rick!"

All around her, she could see her friends celebrating-- smiling, hugging each other, slapping each other on the back and shaking hands, congratulating each other or welcoming each other home.

_Home… _

She smiled when she saw Max pulling Miryra into his arm for a kiss. She wondered what he was saying to her that had caused her to blush like a school girl.

Holding her, Rick touched her face and forced her to look at him. "No, you did it, Lisa. You brought us home."

Burying her face into his neck, Lisa took a deep breath and tried to control her emotions. She didn't want anyone to witness her crying even thought it was a cry of joy. "I would have never done it with you."

"Will you two cut that out!" Roy said jokingly and gave Rick a hard slap on the back. "I like it better when you guys were fighting. It's bad enough that I have to put up with Max going mush over Miryra everyday…"

"You're just jealous because Claudia's not here," Lisa said without looking at Roy and leaned forward to kiss Rick.

"True. So don't expect me to report to duty anytime soon after our debriefing--"

"Commander Hayes, a moment of your time, please," Breetai inquired from the comm and cut short whatever Roy was going to say.

Rick released her reluctantly and turning to the communication board, Lisa switched the comm from speaker to private and picked up the headset to listen. A couple of minutes later, she turned away from the celebrating crowd and Rick could see her shoulders straitening and her body tensing up. He knew she was putting on her command face, preparing herself for whatever may come.

"Is everything okay?" Rick asked as he walks up to her when she set the headset down.

"I… I don't know, Rick. I don't know if any of us will ever be okay, again…"


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

_He sat down on the couch, far enough away so that they wouldn't touch. His heavy weight made the small couch's cushions dip deeply. _

_"Give me your hand." _

_Startled, Claudia looked down at his outstretched hand. It was large, strong, tanned and rough-skinned. He didn't say anything else, just sat there calmly, large hand turned palm upward._

_How long had it been since she'd felt a man's touch? _

_So long. So very long._

_The last man's hand she'd held had been Roy._

_Touching this man was crazy, but she suddenly craved his touch more than anything else in the world. Slowly, she reached a trembling hand out to him and laid it in his, tentatively, shaking inside. From cold. From exhaustion. From fear._

_His grip was so warm it felt like a painless fires. The warmth made her cold hand tingled. She'd been so tense it had hurt to breathe though out the whole day but that tight steel band around her chest loosened slightly. And for the first time since waking up this morning, she took a deep shuddering breath, filling her lungs completely._

_There was a tiny ball of warmth that was her hand encased in his. _

_It wasn't enough to dissipate the icy chill in her bones but it was enough to remind her system of the idea of warmth. Being frozen with shock—from burying Roy, Lisa, Rick—had numbed her feelings. But with his warm touch, the icy grip of shock loosened and with it her self-control. Despite her best efforts, a lone tear tracked down her cheek._

_"Ah, shit," he said and reached over to pick her up. He didn't ask permission, and he didn't grab at her. He just lifted her up as if she was a child and a second later she was sitting on his lap, his arms around her._

_"No, I can't—you.." She couldn't even get the words out; she was shaking so hard, trying to hold back the tears._

_Crying wouldn't help. _

_Crying wouldn't bring Roy back. _

_Crying wouldn't get her life back. _

_Crying wouldn't help her figure out how to move on. _

_Claudia knew all that but being encased in Daniel Sinclair's warm, strong arms acted on her like a whiplash, and the tears were lying in wait, in a hot ball in her chest. _

_"Its okay, Claudia," he said and eased her head down on his shoulder with a gentle push and stroked her damp hair away from her face._

_She shook her head sharply. No! No, it wasn't okay. Maybe it would never be okay again._

_He smelled of rain, musk and man. __Though his clothes were still slightly clammy from the unexpected rain that evening as they had gathered outside of the peace garden to say good-bye to Lisa and Skull Squadron, she could feel his body heat beneath the fabric. His skin warmed hers wherever they touched. Her forehead lay against his neck, right hand braced just above his heart. The beat was strong and slow. _

_She felt warm and safe for the first time in nearly eight years since that day._

_He shifted her slightly to pull the warm blanket around her more tightly, and her hip came up against him. It took her a full minute to realize that it was his penis. His erect penis. Startled, Claudia lifted her head from his shoulder and met his eyes. The corner of his mouth lifted very slightly. _

_"It's okay," he repeated._

_She held herself very still, barely able to move in the blanket encasing her like a cocoon. She shifted again, her hip rolling over him, and felt the ripple as his penis reacted to her touch. _

_A wave of pure heat rose from her in response. _

_The heat took her totally by surprise. _

_It had been so long since she'd felt anything like sexual heat, it took her a moment or two to even recognize it._

_Looking into his dark eyes for what seemed like eternality, she finally understood. He wasn't going to make any demands on her. _

_And she wasn't going to, either. _

_The flash of heat was like a long-ago reminiscence of when she had been a normal woman. There wasn't anything remotely normal about her life now. She couldn't even remember how you were supposed to respond to something like this. Even if she wanted to do something, act on the unexpected, unwelcome heat, she couldn't._

_Claudia Grant was beyond a normal life. _

_Beyond the healthy response of a woman to an attractive man. Dating, courtship, sex. All of that seemed like something people on another planet might do, not her. _

_Maybe on Earth, a man and a woman could meet and act on a strong tug, but not where she lived. __Eight years ago, Claudia had moved to a planet of her own, spinning in deepest space. Pluto, maybe. Big and dark and silent and airless. _

_It was warm on her planet now, thought. In her dry clothes, inside the blanket, surrounded by a warm man, she could feel muscles relaxing that had been tense for so long. Claudia shifted until she was turned more fully into his arms, laid her had down on his shoulder and closed her eyes._

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_"Ten years…" Claudia said out loud as she pulled her coat tighter around herself and walked a little faster. "Let him go. It's time to move on…" _

_She'd known it would be cold tonight but she hadn't anticipated the cold winter wind. As she began to pick up her pace, street lights began to turn on, illuminating the almost empty sidewalk and casting a dream-like glow to the whole area. But it went unappreciated by her for her thoughts are of yesterdays and the people whom she hadn't been able to leave behind._

_"Claudia!" A voice called from behind her and she stopped. When she turned to look back, her breath hitched and a small smile came into her face as he stepped into the light._

_"Daniel! What are you doing here? We didn't expect you until tomorrow evening. When did you get in? And why didn't I know about it?"_

_"I wanted to surprise you," he said and smiled his dazzling smile when he reached her. "You look, well…"_

_"Thanks. I think," she said affectionately. "Well" is not exactly what a girl wants to hear about herself but I guess it's better than…"_

_"You haven't been taking care of yourself," Sinclair cuts in and lifted her face up to him for inspection. He studied her features, though he didn't really need to. By now her face was hardwired into his brain, he'd thought and dreamed of her so much._

_Most women had physical flaws; they were only human, after all. Makeup and hair covered a lot of defects. In his life, he'd woken up many a time next to a woman who'd seemed like a looker in the darkness of a bar simply because she'd acted like one, only to find out in the morning that the looks were tricks of light and makeup and behavior. _

_Lisa Hayes was the only woman he'd known, loved but never been with who was truly beautiful to him, inside and out. Her beauty was all hers: fine features, good bones, perfect skin. Nothing short of death could wipe it out. And now, Claudia Grant._

_"I see bags and dark shadows under your eyes. You're tired, exhausted and a good wind would knocked you down. You haven't been eating, I can tell…"_

_"Okay, mommy. Your point taken," Claudia teased and elbowed him but he didn't seem to notice her interruption._

_"…but other then that, you're beautiful, Claudia. I've missed you," Sinclair finished and lifted her hands, turned them upward and raised them to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss in each palm._

_Two years ago, at the lowest point in her life, she'd fallen asleep in his arms so he knew her body trusted him but her head didn't though, not yet. Eventually it would. He'll make sure of it. For too long now, he'd let life pass him by. Watched as others lived the life he'd dreamed about but no more._

_The gesture was tender and unnerving. He kept his lips against her right palm, his gaze calm and direct._

_She couldn't lie to him. She had missed him, missed him more than she'd wanted. "I'm glad you're here, Daniel," she said and pulled him into her. She held onto him with all her strength. _

_When she did let him go and finally looked up into his eyes, she saw heat and love in his gaze. She knew what was coming and held her breath._

_He moved his head the few inches necessary to cover her mouth with his, lips settling gently over hers. He didn't fumble, angling for the right fit. He found it fight away, tongue slowly entering her mouth in a kiss so warm and coaxing that all the thoughts that had been circling around and round her head, in an endless loop of worry, guilty and loneliness disappeared._

_"You're not alone," he whispered, the words a hot breath against her neck._

_This was too much. The tenderness, the patience, the soft caress against her hands, the gentle grip—it was too much. All the fear and loneliness and despair of her past rose up and seized her by the throat. A single tear slipped out of her eye and slid down her cheek._

_"I … I have missed you," she whispered. _

_She smelled so wonderful. It wasn't perfume; it was more subtle than that. Some mixture of soap and shampoo and warm woman, blending into an unmistakable mix. The smell of Claudia. _

_"Let's get you home," he said and took her hand in his._

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"You're kidding, right?" Roy asked and looked at Lisa in disbelief. "I mean, this is a joke?"

"No. This is not a joke, Commander Fokker…"

"But--- how?"

"Maybe I can answer that Commander Hayes," Breetai replied before Lisa could answered and step forward to address the group.

"As you know, your ship's main power core was damaged during the last attacked just before we spacefold. To compensate, I had to use my ship's jump drive to pull both of the ships into the spacefold. We are where we're supposed to be…"

"But fifteen years late!" Someone yelled from the back.

"No, not late," Breetai answered and continued. "We are exactly where we're supposed to be. But something happened during the fold, what, we don't know."

"So we jumped fifteen years into the future!" Another yelled out again from the back.

"In a way, yes." Exedore answered. "But, no. It's like this, time continued without us during the fold…"

Swearing and loud angry voices irrupted as frustration and fear permeated the room. Lisa knew she was going to have a riot on her hand if she didn't do something quick.

The door to the conference room suddenly opened and someone yelled out attention on deck. Everyone in the room automatic went into attention and silence reign.

Surrounded by twelve heavily armed guards, Gloval walked into the room and returned their salute but said nothing for a long time. He just stared at each of them, his gaze lingeringly on Lisa and then moving to Breetai and Exedore.

"Permission to speak, Sir," Lisa said but was ignored by Gloval.

"We have listed each of you as MIA and after seven years were declared dead. As you have arrived in a Zentraedi battlecruiser and accompany by them you can understand our hesitation in accepting you as humans or your claims to who you are. Also I would like to point out that both of your cruisers are being surrounded by our fighters as we speak. No one is going anywhere or speaking to anyone until your identities are confirmed."

"Any test you need to perform to confirm our identities, Sir, you may start with me," Lisa said and stepped out from the line.

"Li--" Rick protested but he was quickly silenced by Roy.

"Are you expecting torture and mayhem, Commander?" Gloval asked and hid an amused smiled behind his mustache. "A simple blood test is sufficient."

With nod of his head, two medical officers came into the room and Lisa rolled up her sleeve.

"Since our last battle with the Zentraedi we have learned a few facts," Gloval said. "Their DNA is slightly different then humans for they were genetically enhanced and created," he continued and stared at Breetai and Exedore as if challenging them to contradict him.

After a while, he turned to Lisa. "Your DNA will be matched with that of the person you claimed to be. We will know in minutes if you're not Commander Lisa Hayes. If this is some kind of a trick, pray to whatever gods you believe in because I will personally make sure you meet them with haste. "

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_"Are you ready to listen to me?"_

_She nodded and lifted herself up on her elbow. If he wanted to talk to her, he deserved to see her face._

_"First off, I love you, Claudia. I think that needs to be said up front. I don't imagine that would be a huge surprise to you."_

_It wasn't surprise. It was recognition. The huge jolt your system gives when you life moves on to another track and you've just noticed._

_"I love you too, Daniel." She didn't even have to think of it. The words came welling up from deep inside her, and it was the truest thing she'd ever said in a long time._

_He nodded again, his hard mouth lifted in a half smile. _

_"Figured that might be the case. It makes what comes next a whole lot easier to say. I can never be Fokker and I don't plan to. I think we both know that I don't need to. Claudia, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. We've wasted a lot of our lives already waiting for others. It's our time now and we'll do it together."_

_Her heart simply melted. _

_Tears rolled down her cheeks._

_"Hey," Daniel said, alarmed. "What's the matter? I thought--"_

_She shut him up by leaning forward and kissing him, a soft brushing of lips, lifting away before he took control of it and they ended up rolling around in the sheets again. Sex with Daniel was wonderful, but there were things she needed to say._

_"I'd love to spend the rest of my life with you too, Daniel."_

_"Yeah." He didn't even try to hide his relief. "Yeah, that's what I was thinking. So I guess that leaves just one more thing to wrap up?"_

_"Mm?"_

_He fumbled for her hand. To Claudia's surprise his hand trembled. That steady hand that had always been there for her in the last seven years actually shook. Amazing._

_He took in a deep breath. "Claudia Grant, will you marry me?"_

_Her mouth dropped open, and her mind went blank._

_Oh God, oh God._

_They stared at each other. A bead of sweat formed on Daniel's temple and slowly rolled down his face._

_Marriage. A lifetime with this man. This wonderful man who'd brought her back to life again._

_Marriage. Children._

_Marriage…_

_Yes! A thousand times yes._

_The word couldn't make it past the boulder in her chest, so she nodded, the tears falling again, harder and faster than before. _

_She breathed in sharply and the word made it through her tight throat. "Yes, oh yes!" _

_She threw herself at him._

_He caught her._


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

She wouldn't cry—it would be so stupid! But she does want to crawl into darkness, away from everyone, and forget. Forget everything else but--

"Chicken?"

A voice asked teasingly from behind her but she didn't turn.

"No."

"Then why aren't you in there with the Admiral?" he said and came to stand next to her, his eyes searched her face. It was pale and strained. "He would never stop you—"

"I don't know, Daniel," she answered truthfully and cutting him off.

She turned now and faced him, staring into his eyes, reading his mood. Her hands were shaking but she drew a deep breath and forced herself to steady. "It could all be a bunch of crap. I'm afraid to hope. Fifteen years is such a long time, a life time…"

His hands automatically framed her face. "There is nothing to fear, Claudia. No matter what happens, we'll face it together. You never have to be alone again. I love you."

"I know," she said and without a word went into his arms, letting him hold her, absorbing his special warmth into her cold bones.

_Oh Roy… _

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"Damn it! How long is Gloval going to keep us locked up?" Roy said impatiently to no one in particular and got up from the table. He walked to the wall opposite of everyone and leaned against it, his head down.

"You think it's true?" Lisa asked, fighting for the calm she swore she wouldn't loose as she gazed down into the coffee in her cup.

"Yes." Rick leaned wearily back in his chair. "I wish it wasn't but when have you ever known Breetai to be wrong? Or for that matter, Captain-- I mean, Admiral Gloval?"

"I'm a solider. I'd give my life without hesitation for any of my men but how do you prepare for something like this?" Looking up and at Roy instead of Rick, Lisa felt the familiar rush of sadness that seemed to fill the world. "What are we going to do?"

"Whatever it is, Lisa, we'll make it," Rick said and reached over to hold her hand. "We beat the impossible. We survived didn't we? And we even converted half the Zentraedi force to our side…"

"No," she whispered closed to tears now as her eyes came back to Rick. "What is he going to do, Rick?"

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"Claudia?" he murmured.

She turned and stared at him.

He stared back, stunned.

And without a warning, she slapped his face. Her hand slammed into his cheek with enough force to burn her palm before she slapped him again.

"Liar!" she sobbed. "You're not real! Not real…" and would have slapped him again but he jerked her arms to her side, holding her in place.

"Claudia!" he said sharply. Then his lips pressed into hers. He ate at her mouth, consumed her like there was no tomorrow.

It was good. Just as she'd remembered.

_Roy_.

"You said it was just a walk in the park," she cried when he ended the kiss and held her. She felt dizzy-- weak-kneed with relief, with bitterness and anger.

"You said you would be back. Too late… too late…" and he stole the words from her again for he could not bear to hear them. He knew if he'd just hold her he could forget everything. He went down upon a knee, drawing her to him. His arms encircled her waist; he held her, squeezing her tightly to him.

She hesitated, her fingers falling on the blond waves of his hair then she quickly pushed him away and moved to put some distance between them.

"I'm married, Roy."

She saw the emotions-- shock, anger, pain, regret-- in his eyes. Her heart twisted as she watched him slowly get up.

"I waited," she said again and raised her head, hardly able to focus on his face. "A lifetime was just too long. It seems I needed more than promises and memories. I…I have a son. His name is Roy. Roy Matthew Sinclair but we call him Robbie."

"I see," was all he could say as he stared at her.

"I love Daniel, Roy. He's a great man, a wonderful father, husband, and we mesh. He's everything I want." She moistened her lips. "While you… you're my past. I'm sorry."

"Baby…"

The endearment weakened her knees. It was as if her very soul had been taken from her. Which was silly, Roy called her sweetheart or baby often. He always had. Yet the effect has never been the same.

"Don't Roy," she cut him off. "Don't call me that anymore. I'm not your baby, your sweetheart or your girl anymore. I haven't been in a long time."

She sent him a smile she hoped wasn't as brittle as she felt.

"Claudia, I never meant to hurt you. You know, I'd always come back to you. It's always you," he said in frustration.

"Look at me! Look at me, Roy," she hissed at him. "I'm old."

"Claudia, damn you, Claudia…I don't care about a few lines under your eyes!" he snarled back and stepped forward to touch her. "I love you!"

Shutting her eyes tightly, she closed out his last three words. Three little words she once would have given anything to hear.

_Too late… too late_

Shaking her head she moved further away from him as the door to the briefing room swung opened and Daniel Sinclair walked in.

Roy couldn't breathe.

Oh God. It hurt.

It was knifing through his chest, shredding flesh and bone, and he was going to scream with the rage and the pain of it.

_Don't touch him!_

The words were whipping through his mind as Claudia gripped for Sinclair's hand and when he curved his arm around her back, she leaned into him automatically.

"So, you and, Claudia? A son! Wow… I'd always though you were after Lisa…" was all he could utter out as he stared at them and the pain raging inside of him.

_Damn you! Damn you! You son-of-a-bitch!_

He had to get away from them.

Before he screamed.

Before he cried.

"Congratulations, I mean, wow…" his voice-- wasn't his voice and he backed away from them. "Looks like the party's over," he said, staring into Claudia's face, aching to the depths of his soul. "Take care of her, man."

He felt the ice building, though he knew it wouldn't last long. It was forming in his veins, covering his flesh, washing through his mind. The shield was a brittle as frost, and just as cold.

"Fokker, wait--" he heard Sinclair said but nothing else for he'd turned and walked out of the room not seeing or hearing any thing.

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"Oh Claudia, he's so adorable!" Lisa said as she stared at the picture of a two-year-old Roy Sinclair. "I'm still in shock. You, a mother and, captain of your own ship! I'm so happy for you. Robbie definitely has Daniel's eyes and his smile."

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there, for the briefing, I mean, but I read part of your report," Claudia said in a low voice, not looking at Lisa at all. "You guys sure had an adventure and Max, falling in love with a Zentraedi! Kind of like Romeo and Juliet," she continued and tried to sound excited but failed.

"Lisa, Daniel saved my sanity. I love him. I do and, Robbie… my baby, gave me hope to live again. He's my miracle…" Claudia furthered said as tears welled in her eyes. "I don't know what I would have done with them. They're my life. They are my world…"

Looking at her friend with compassion, Lisa crossed the distance between them and hugged her, again.

"I still can't believe it that it's you. Really you, Lisa," Claudia said, and tried not to cry again. "I never gave up hope but I never really believed it either… I'm so sorry…I wronged him. He's hurting so much, Lisa, and I don't know how to stop it."

"No more tears, Claudia, okay. And there is nothing now that can be done. What is important is that we're here. We're safe. We're home and that's all that matters."

Gently, Lisa wiped away the single tear that was creating a trail down Claudia's right cheek. "Roy will be okay. He has to. It's not your fault… you didn't' know. Nobody knew...life is for the living. Daniel once told me that…"

"Did I hear my name?"

"Daniel!" Lisa cried and quickly stood up to greet her friend while Claudia quickly wiped the remaining tears away from her face.

Coming quickly into the room, Admiral Daniel Sinclair picked up Lisa and hugged her tightly to him.

"God, it's so good to see you, Lisa!" he exclaimed as he set her down after a couple of minutes. Staring into her face, he smiled and ruffled her hair with affection as she tried to push his hands away.

"You!" a voice boomed from behind them and they turned to see a very angry Rick Hunter.

"Rick? What's gotten into--"

"Sinclair! You scum! Claudia is Roy's girl!" Rick said and moved strait for him.

"Rick!" Claudia quickly ran to him and stood in front of Sinclair and Lisa.

"Don't you defend him, Claudia," Rick yelled. "He took advantage of you. You love Roy. You and Roy…"

"Roy and I… were, Rick," Claudia said and reached out to hold her husband's hand. "Daniel is my husband, now. We have a child. We are a family. I… we, everyone believed Roy and you and Lisa, and everyone in Skull dead. It's been fifteen years, Rick. Fifteen years."

"But--"

"No," Claudia pleaded and began to cry. "You don't understand… you can't… you don't know…please… please… just go."

"Claudia, he stole--"

"Leave. Hunter. Do not make her ask you, again," Sinclair said with deadly calm as he stared at Rick.

"It's exactly what I'd expected from you, Sinclair, hiding behind Claudia--"

"You speak of things you have no understanding of, Hunter. You can hurt me all you want but hurting Claudia, I will not forgive… Lisa, take him out of here now or I will not be responsible for my action."

"Rick--"

"Don't you take his side too, Lisa!" Rick said angrily and turned back to stared at Sinclair.

"Lisa!" Sinclair said again without taking his eyes off Rick.

"Lieutenant Rick Hunter!" Lisa said in her most authoritative voice, "I'm giving you a direct order to leave this room."

"Damned it, Lisa! He screwed Roy over. He's the one you should be ordering to leave. He's the scum! Not me!"

"Now, Hunter! Move it!" Lisa continued as if not hearing his outburst.

Frustrated Rick turned and stalked out of the room without a backward glance.


End file.
